Comments that come when filters are off:

Some people really don't have a filter at all. Some people make comments to give us something to think about in case we haven't thought of it ourselves yet. I have read the lists of things that you should never say to someone who is or has adopted. Not having a child home yet, I don't feel overly sensitive about comments like, "are they real sisters?" or "where are her real parents?" I understand where these comments come from. They are mostly from people who think positive, but are just very curious. The comments that annoy me or will annoy me are the kind like "their last one was adopted and she just gave them such a hard time." You know, the horror stories. Or "life was great for that family and then they ruined it by adopting." These comments serve no purpose. They are hypothetical. By the way, if our life appears ruined years from now, it has nothing to do with making this "poor choice" to adopt. It has everything to do with God testing us, wanting to reveal himself more fully to us. God never promised a perfect life. He just promises to always be with us. I have complete assurance in that.
But, back to comments that people make...here is a short exchange that Bill had with a co-worker. It went something like this:
"So what exactly is wrong with her?"
"How will you take care of her?"
"Have you thought about this?"
"You know she may not live long."
Bill just responded with short answers and a smile/smirk.
I think he wanted more time to maybe talk us out of it! Crazy!

I completely understand how a caring person may have a conversation with us, asking these same type of questions. The above exchange was mindless, foolish, and out of ignorance.

Here are the answers to those questions:

She has a congenital heart defect. She has had surgery and will require more.

We will care for her to the best of our ability just as we have cared for our other children and just as countless families have cared for their children with a serious, chronic disease. We have the means, the support, the resources to give her the best care possible. She deserves our best.

We have thought about this, but more importantly, we have prayed about it. God brought her to us. She is ours. We are confident and have perfect peace that before the beginning of time He knew Mahaela and knew He would set her in our family.

As Bill responded, she most definitely has a decreased life span. She is high risk. But she may live a wonderful, "long" life. Medicine is always changing and her prognosis is unpredictable. None the less, we cherish getting to live life with her. We can't live today dreading what may come tomorrow.

Just wanted to share. We are very open to comments, questions, discussions, but some people need to put on their thinking caps first!


Less than 2 weeks, we will tuck her in at bedtime!!