From the first time I read this blog--All Are Precious in His Sight, I knew I would have a deep connection to it. "Boss Your Heart" has rang in my ears many times. Lorraine and I have little girls with sick hearts. As sad as Chrissie's story is to read, it still gives me hope that God gets the glory, no matter what, even in our pain and loss. It's really an inspiring story. Check out her blog...if you haven't already, and read the link to "boss your heart" that is most recently on Dec. 30th's entry.
Lorraine has recently published her blog entries of the fight that Chrissie had. It's been on my mind as we look forward to Mahaela's surgery. Why am I sharing this now...well I want the book and the necklace--shameless, I know. But everyone should read her story. So the give aways are the motivation I've needed to get this information in a post.
Check it out.
www.allarepreciousinhissight.blogspot.com
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Happy Teeth (but we may just ruin that!)
Today, Mahaela had a dentist appointment. We were told to get all the dental taken care of before surgery. I told the dentist that the doctor at our visa/Embassy appointment in Bulgaria mentioned her having cavities (I think she had just eaten a cookie or something). Our dentist took a look and said it all looks good to him. Mahaela did so well. She just sat up in the chair and gave big smiles...why don't I video tape these things??!! The dentist showed her how he was going to count her teeth with that horrible pick/needle looking thing that could be very intimidating looking. He counted her fingers with it and that didn't hurt so she opened up and let him have a good look.
So that is all good news. Here is the down side...she has had more Coke than any child should ever have. We may quickly ruin her "happy teeth." She goes around randomly saying "Eskum Coke!" "I want Coke!" We will quickly break this habit after what happened last night. We frequently joke that the orphanage would just die at what her life is like with us! She was sipping coke from anyone who would give it to her and from cans just laying around. (We were with family for dinner.) We finally got home and put her to bed...10:30-11:00pm. (I know, shame, shame.) About midnight she woke up just crying, hard, like she was hurting. I went in to get her and cherished the moment to "save" her. But she cried quite a while. I brought her into our bed and she did fall asleep after a bit, only to wake up again about 2:30. She was either crying or wide awake and asking to get down. When she wasn't allowed to get down, she just cried. I put her back into her bed. I knew the alarm would be going off about 5:30 and I did not want her to wake up to that. We learned a hard lesson, but we learned it! This girl loves any soda and we, I guess, have to be the parents, and say "no" to coke! I think she was miserably tired, but was on a caffeine and sugar high and could not get or stay asleep. OK, so we won't repeat that again.
We had a fabulous Christmas. She really was perfect through it all. She is like my other kids, stays up too late, but gets up late, too. She never crumbled or fell apart, even though it wasn't ideal as far as a schedule for a toddler. She just really loved it all and we all loved watching her and celebrating this wonderful Christmas with her in our home. I knew she was having a great time and the only down side was that I was losing my wrung on the ladder. It was just a week, in the scope of things and I already knew the great progress she has made so far. So today, with Bill back at work and everyone else gone, I am climbing the ladder again. Even when I really corrected her and let her know I was angry about something she did, she still came around and was compliant, eventually. At one point I was holding her and wanted her to say sorry to one of the kids for something. I said "I'm just gonna ride the bull" as she was bucking and having a tantrum. I could have given in pretty early on, but I felt up for the challenge and just let her get mad. When she calmed down a bit, she was still sitting in my lap and she did say sorry. I was happy and thanked her a lot for saying sorry. She knew she had done all that I wanted of her and she got down off my lap. At some other point today I reacted very strongly to her spitting at one of the kids, but through the glass on the french doors. I picked her up and made her wipe the spit off with her sleeve and then held her. She knew she was "in trouble." She was yelling because I was holding her, but stopped mid scream and said "sorry" in the most adorable way. Then I let her down. These episodes sound horrible on paper, but they really are brief and not that big of a deal. But what I really like about recalling them is that it is evidence that she is so teachable right now and that she is learning. She also didn't necessarily resist me as she would have the first couple weeks. She let me put her down, without her struggling to get down. She really is getting it!
As I am typing this, I realize it is after midnight and now December 29--one month from Gotcha day. I really can't believe it! We have been home just over 3 weeks and I am just absolutely praising the Lord. She is so awesome. We just love her like crazy. I thought it was so cute Monday when Bill was playing around with her and getting her dressed, he said he really likes to get her dressed in the morning. He changes her diaper, picks out her clothes and even does her hair. She is just fun to take care of (and he is such a good daddy.) She will see him and say "sakatapotato." He throws her over his shoulder and says "I've-got-a-sack-of-potatoes" as he runs around the room. It is so cute because she repeats the phrase and adds an extra syllable. She loves his horsey rides, ring around the rosey, London bridges, and just wrestling on the floor. What's not to love about all that crazy energy!
We had a wonderful Christmas, as I hope you all did, also. We are looking forward to ringing in 2011!
So that is all good news. Here is the down side...she has had more Coke than any child should ever have. We may quickly ruin her "happy teeth." She goes around randomly saying "Eskum Coke!" "I want Coke!" We will quickly break this habit after what happened last night. We frequently joke that the orphanage would just die at what her life is like with us! She was sipping coke from anyone who would give it to her and from cans just laying around. (We were with family for dinner.) We finally got home and put her to bed...10:30-11:00pm. (I know, shame, shame.) About midnight she woke up just crying, hard, like she was hurting. I went in to get her and cherished the moment to "save" her. But she cried quite a while. I brought her into our bed and she did fall asleep after a bit, only to wake up again about 2:30. She was either crying or wide awake and asking to get down. When she wasn't allowed to get down, she just cried. I put her back into her bed. I knew the alarm would be going off about 5:30 and I did not want her to wake up to that. We learned a hard lesson, but we learned it! This girl loves any soda and we, I guess, have to be the parents, and say "no" to coke! I think she was miserably tired, but was on a caffeine and sugar high and could not get or stay asleep. OK, so we won't repeat that again.
We had a fabulous Christmas. She really was perfect through it all. She is like my other kids, stays up too late, but gets up late, too. She never crumbled or fell apart, even though it wasn't ideal as far as a schedule for a toddler. She just really loved it all and we all loved watching her and celebrating this wonderful Christmas with her in our home. I knew she was having a great time and the only down side was that I was losing my wrung on the ladder. It was just a week, in the scope of things and I already knew the great progress she has made so far. So today, with Bill back at work and everyone else gone, I am climbing the ladder again. Even when I really corrected her and let her know I was angry about something she did, she still came around and was compliant, eventually. At one point I was holding her and wanted her to say sorry to one of the kids for something. I said "I'm just gonna ride the bull" as she was bucking and having a tantrum. I could have given in pretty early on, but I felt up for the challenge and just let her get mad. When she calmed down a bit, she was still sitting in my lap and she did say sorry. I was happy and thanked her a lot for saying sorry. She knew she had done all that I wanted of her and she got down off my lap. At some other point today I reacted very strongly to her spitting at one of the kids, but through the glass on the french doors. I picked her up and made her wipe the spit off with her sleeve and then held her. She knew she was "in trouble." She was yelling because I was holding her, but stopped mid scream and said "sorry" in the most adorable way. Then I let her down. These episodes sound horrible on paper, but they really are brief and not that big of a deal. But what I really like about recalling them is that it is evidence that she is so teachable right now and that she is learning. She also didn't necessarily resist me as she would have the first couple weeks. She let me put her down, without her struggling to get down. She really is getting it!
As I am typing this, I realize it is after midnight and now December 29--one month from Gotcha day. I really can't believe it! We have been home just over 3 weeks and I am just absolutely praising the Lord. She is so awesome. We just love her like crazy. I thought it was so cute Monday when Bill was playing around with her and getting her dressed, he said he really likes to get her dressed in the morning. He changes her diaper, picks out her clothes and even does her hair. She is just fun to take care of (and he is such a good daddy.) She will see him and say "sakatapotato." He throws her over his shoulder and says "I've-got-a-sack-of-potatoes" as he runs around the room. It is so cute because she repeats the phrase and adds an extra syllable. She loves his horsey rides, ring around the rosey, London bridges, and just wrestling on the floor. What's not to love about all that crazy energy!
We had a wonderful Christmas, as I hope you all did, also. We are looking forward to ringing in 2011!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Merry Christmas Eve
Last Christmas just seems like moments ago. I recall going through the whole Christmas holiday thinking, saying, imagining that it would be the last one without our little girl. We didn't know anything about the child we would be blessed with. We didn't even know if we would get a boy or girl. But I hoped and prayed that it would be the last Christmas without them. It's so hard to believe that she is now here with us, celebrating Christmas with our family. Her stocking with her name on it came in plenty of time. Stuffing 5 stockings made me feel like I have a lot of kids!
Mahaela is having a wonderful time with family and they are enjoying her. I look forward to a little one on one with her again, but I know she is just having the best time with so many cousins. Yesterday she was sick with a stomach bug and even while throwing up, she still had a smile for us. I don't think she knew she was sick!
My little present was that she is letting me read to her at night. She backs up to sit on my lap, just like my other kids did, and flips through the pages of our Christmas story book and repeats so many words. It's such a sweet time to read to her about Jesus' birth and sing Away in a Manger. I think she likes it very much.
So much to be thankful for and so much to enjoy this year. I'm saying a prayer for all my friends who may read this and are still waiting for the present you really want--your child in your arms. He knows the path you are on, when he has tested and tried you, you will come forth as gold. Job 23:10 We are all better for what we learn along the way.
Looking forward to having our first Christmas together as a family of 7!
Merry Christmas to all!
Mahaela is having a wonderful time with family and they are enjoying her. I look forward to a little one on one with her again, but I know she is just having the best time with so many cousins. Yesterday she was sick with a stomach bug and even while throwing up, she still had a smile for us. I don't think she knew she was sick!
My little present was that she is letting me read to her at night. She backs up to sit on my lap, just like my other kids did, and flips through the pages of our Christmas story book and repeats so many words. It's such a sweet time to read to her about Jesus' birth and sing Away in a Manger. I think she likes it very much.
So much to be thankful for and so much to enjoy this year. I'm saying a prayer for all my friends who may read this and are still waiting for the present you really want--your child in your arms. He knows the path you are on, when he has tested and tried you, you will come forth as gold. Job 23:10 We are all better for what we learn along the way.
Looking forward to having our first Christmas together as a family of 7!
Merry Christmas to all!
Friday, December 17, 2010
No News=Great News
Just a day after my last post, I had my daughter, Aubrey wondering why I hadn't posted anything and begging me to write something. I told her we were just living life--mundane! There aren't any big details to share, but we have had a special week just being a family. Mahaela just feels like she fits completely. It really has been a dream--she's been a dream. She is getting better with the slapping, challenging behavior. We can see that she is very correctable. Things don't quite seem to be escalating to the point they did that first week. She has given some dirty looks--fiery-dart eyes, some pushes, some slaps, but they are less frequent. I think the behavior is a little comical to others. She will go from a dirty look to me to the biggest grin to someone else. At dinner with family Wednesday night, she got in trouble from Bill for pushing me away. I wasn't even touching her, she was sitting in her own chair, and she still pushed me away. She tried it again and glanced at Bill first. He was still looking at her so her shove became a hug. So she is learning.
She is learning and using lots of words. She repeats a lot of English words. We can tell she will not hold her language for very long at all. I actually think it is sad...it's such a part of who she is now, and something she will never get back. She loves to talk on the phone and we need to record her having a little conversation in Bulgarian. It's so cute.
We still need to get her blood drawn and chest xray. She is about to finish her antibiotic for the ears and she seems to feel well. This am her hands and lips were blue and Bill seemed a bit concerned, wondering what her pulse-ox was?? We thought maybe she was a bit cold. Bill got her dressed and put a hoodie on her and her color did improve after a while. Just a little interesting.
We are enjoying just getting to know her. She just feels part of our family. Jake the other day commented that she smelled like us now. He thought she smelled different when we got home (although we all smelled a bit "different" after staying in an apartment and hotels for 10 days.) I just thought that was pretty observant. I completely understand what he means though. There were things about her that were not like my other kids--things that made me feel like I didn't know or recognize her--things like the shape of her hands and fingers or toenails. Now they are becoming so familiar, so Mahaela.
Family starts coming in tomorrow, so our week will be set into motion. It will be crazy and fun. I'm pretty happy that so far, I have kept my head about me, which isn't always the case!
Merry Christmas!!
She is learning and using lots of words. She repeats a lot of English words. We can tell she will not hold her language for very long at all. I actually think it is sad...it's such a part of who she is now, and something she will never get back. She loves to talk on the phone and we need to record her having a little conversation in Bulgarian. It's so cute.
We still need to get her blood drawn and chest xray. She is about to finish her antibiotic for the ears and she seems to feel well. This am her hands and lips were blue and Bill seemed a bit concerned, wondering what her pulse-ox was?? We thought maybe she was a bit cold. Bill got her dressed and put a hoodie on her and her color did improve after a while. Just a little interesting.
We are enjoying just getting to know her. She just feels part of our family. Jake the other day commented that she smelled like us now. He thought she smelled different when we got home (although we all smelled a bit "different" after staying in an apartment and hotels for 10 days.) I just thought that was pretty observant. I completely understand what he means though. There were things about her that were not like my other kids--things that made me feel like I didn't know or recognize her--things like the shape of her hands and fingers or toenails. Now they are becoming so familiar, so Mahaela.
Family starts coming in tomorrow, so our week will be set into motion. It will be crazy and fun. I'm pretty happy that so far, I have kept my head about me, which isn't always the case!
Merry Christmas!!
Monday, December 13, 2010
All is Well
We have been with Mahaela two weeks today, and home for just over a week. Everything is still going very well. She is delightful. Someone commented today that she seemed very happy and just has a sparkle in her eye. I couldn't agree more. We had a good day as a family on Saturday. Bill made two comments over the weekend that just made my heart soar. He said, "she's really beautiful." It was the kind of remark you make after you get to know someone, even their "ugly" side and still think they are beautiful. Bill and the kids came to the conclusion that she looks like a Hobbit--maybe Frodo. I'm sure they mean it in the best possible way! She really has a personality that has just roped us all in. She gives a big English "Hi" when someone comes to see her. Adorable--especially since what she really wants to say is "Zdraveytey."
The other thing Bill said is that he is falling in love with her. I compare it to being pregnant with my other kids--you know you love them, even before you really know them, but then to know them is to fall in love with them in a completely different and deeper way. I thought it was so sweet when he said out loud what we were both thinking.
Today, we had to run around to get Aubrey for an Orthodontist appt. and then we went to Target while we waited for kids to get out of school. It meant a lot of time in the car and no nap. She does so well and seems flexible which is a real blessing as that is just how our lives must run. One thing that has been a surprise to me is that nothing seems to be shocking to her. I know there must be so many new things that she is experiencing, but nothing to this point seems to be overwhelming. The shopping cart had to be new for her. Besides not knowing exactly what I was trying to do with her legs, she eventually sat down and acted like it was a great new ride she was on. She doesn't ever seems to be intimidated by anything. She even saw Santa today. I'm sure I'm breaking all kinds of rules...we are just living life, what can I say?
As an update on her health, she is on an antibiotic for the ear infections, and has the diarrhea to go with it. Oh, and she now takes her meds great--and anything else she can drink from a syringe! We still need to get her blood drawn. We were to have a cardiology appt. on Thursday, but I postponed it until next year! I know that once that ball starts rolling, it will be hard to slow it down. They need a chest xray before the appt. We have spoken to the surgeon and he is really leaving it to our judgment. He has given us confidence that if she looks good, she is good for now and we can take our time with this. Also, she needs to have a dental exam. They absolutely want all her dental care taken care of before any surgery is needed. Maybe you are familiar with people who have valve issues or other even minor heart conditions (defects) that take an antibiotic before they go to the dentist. It is because bacteria that can enter through gum/oral trauma have a way of infecting the heart. The doctor at her Embassy appt. thought she had cavities, but I wonder if she just ate something before the exam?? I don't see anything unusual, but I haven't gotten a great look, either. If she has significant dental work, she may need to go under general anesthesia to have it taken care of. So, between blood work, chest xray, dental exam, dental work, we are a ways from being at the point of getting a heart cath done. So Jan. 13 will be our appt with the cardiologist.
Now, here is the reality check...I am not her favorite right now. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself. I know this will get better, but it still kind of stinks. Around others, she will choose to let others help her, instead of me. As an example, she was taking off her coat and I was helping her arms out and she pulled her arm away from me and offered it to my best friend. My friend is aware of how she is acting, besides it being very blatant at that moment and she just encouraged Mahaela to let her mommy help her. She seems even hypersensitive to my touch. I can just tell that I am pushing my luck by even holding her or touching her back. She will pull away or push my hand away or smack my hands. I think I forgot to mention on the blog that she spit at me with gusto at the airport in Sofia--just an example of what had been going on the first week and was yet to come. Bill tries to encourage me...he thinks in a couple weeks that she won't let me out of her sight. Aubrey thinks it's so sad. Tonight when she was so mean to me...I had to say out loud..."And for this child I prayed." We just laughed as I was joking, but, oh, the irony! Everyone tries to encourage her to go to me and let me have hugs and kisses. It's not working, yet. Tonight, Mahaela had a rough bedtime. She never really got to sleep. She was dreaming, fitful, and crying. I covered her with a blanket and she really got mad. Bill got home around 10:30 and went in to help her. I had already been in her room about a half hour before and put out my arms to hold her as she was crying. She didn't want anything to do with me. I'm not sure what it is, but it's not so fun. When I am alone with her, she is a little better, but I also don't really push it as I don't want the constant negative reaction. I am just praying that she will begin to allow me to be physically close to her. I'm especially concerned that she be completely ok with me before her surgery. I will be the one who will be with her most of the time. She won't have the luxury of going to Bill or anyone else. The whole thing is a mystery to me and I hope it passes quickly. That's just my little dose of reality...
3 years ago today, she left the hospital and entered the children's home. The nurses all remember the day and date that she came. It must have been a little scary for them to be caring for such a fragile, new, sick child. They did such a good job with her. Putting her socks on yesterday, I noticed all the little pinpoint scars on her feet from the IVs and needle sticks from when she was a baby, having surgeries. It made me sad for her. I wish I could have been there, but I'm thankful that some loving nurses got her through that time.
Just my rambling thoughts, tonight...
The other thing Bill said is that he is falling in love with her. I compare it to being pregnant with my other kids--you know you love them, even before you really know them, but then to know them is to fall in love with them in a completely different and deeper way. I thought it was so sweet when he said out loud what we were both thinking.
Today, we had to run around to get Aubrey for an Orthodontist appt. and then we went to Target while we waited for kids to get out of school. It meant a lot of time in the car and no nap. She does so well and seems flexible which is a real blessing as that is just how our lives must run. One thing that has been a surprise to me is that nothing seems to be shocking to her. I know there must be so many new things that she is experiencing, but nothing to this point seems to be overwhelming. The shopping cart had to be new for her. Besides not knowing exactly what I was trying to do with her legs, she eventually sat down and acted like it was a great new ride she was on. She doesn't ever seems to be intimidated by anything. She even saw Santa today. I'm sure I'm breaking all kinds of rules...we are just living life, what can I say?
As an update on her health, she is on an antibiotic for the ear infections, and has the diarrhea to go with it. Oh, and she now takes her meds great--and anything else she can drink from a syringe! We still need to get her blood drawn. We were to have a cardiology appt. on Thursday, but I postponed it until next year! I know that once that ball starts rolling, it will be hard to slow it down. They need a chest xray before the appt. We have spoken to the surgeon and he is really leaving it to our judgment. He has given us confidence that if she looks good, she is good for now and we can take our time with this. Also, she needs to have a dental exam. They absolutely want all her dental care taken care of before any surgery is needed. Maybe you are familiar with people who have valve issues or other even minor heart conditions (defects) that take an antibiotic before they go to the dentist. It is because bacteria that can enter through gum/oral trauma have a way of infecting the heart. The doctor at her Embassy appt. thought she had cavities, but I wonder if she just ate something before the exam?? I don't see anything unusual, but I haven't gotten a great look, either. If she has significant dental work, she may need to go under general anesthesia to have it taken care of. So, between blood work, chest xray, dental exam, dental work, we are a ways from being at the point of getting a heart cath done. So Jan. 13 will be our appt with the cardiologist.
Now, here is the reality check...I am not her favorite right now. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself. I know this will get better, but it still kind of stinks. Around others, she will choose to let others help her, instead of me. As an example, she was taking off her coat and I was helping her arms out and she pulled her arm away from me and offered it to my best friend. My friend is aware of how she is acting, besides it being very blatant at that moment and she just encouraged Mahaela to let her mommy help her. She seems even hypersensitive to my touch. I can just tell that I am pushing my luck by even holding her or touching her back. She will pull away or push my hand away or smack my hands. I think I forgot to mention on the blog that she spit at me with gusto at the airport in Sofia--just an example of what had been going on the first week and was yet to come. Bill tries to encourage me...he thinks in a couple weeks that she won't let me out of her sight. Aubrey thinks it's so sad. Tonight when she was so mean to me...I had to say out loud..."And for this child I prayed." We just laughed as I was joking, but, oh, the irony! Everyone tries to encourage her to go to me and let me have hugs and kisses. It's not working, yet. Tonight, Mahaela had a rough bedtime. She never really got to sleep. She was dreaming, fitful, and crying. I covered her with a blanket and she really got mad. Bill got home around 10:30 and went in to help her. I had already been in her room about a half hour before and put out my arms to hold her as she was crying. She didn't want anything to do with me. I'm not sure what it is, but it's not so fun. When I am alone with her, she is a little better, but I also don't really push it as I don't want the constant negative reaction. I am just praying that she will begin to allow me to be physically close to her. I'm especially concerned that she be completely ok with me before her surgery. I will be the one who will be with her most of the time. She won't have the luxury of going to Bill or anyone else. The whole thing is a mystery to me and I hope it passes quickly. That's just my little dose of reality...
3 years ago today, she left the hospital and entered the children's home. The nurses all remember the day and date that she came. It must have been a little scary for them to be caring for such a fragile, new, sick child. They did such a good job with her. Putting her socks on yesterday, I noticed all the little pinpoint scars on her feet from the IVs and needle sticks from when she was a baby, having surgeries. It made me sad for her. I wish I could have been there, but I'm thankful that some loving nurses got her through that time.
Just my rambling thoughts, tonight...
Friday, December 10, 2010
Poor Baby
Mahaela had her pediatrician appt. yesterday. She did great with the whole exam and being with the nurse and doctor. She was very compliant. She looks great. She needed some immunizations to get her all caught up. Unfortunately, she needed 4! Yep, 2 in each leg. She did amazingly well. She cried, but when they were done, she wiped her tears and put a smile right back on her face. It always make me more sad when they are so tough. It was not the cat-in-a-bathtub fight that I thought it would be.
Since there was no wait and she did so well, I decided to go ahead and do her blood draw for labs. That was no fun. She sat in my lap (first mistake) while they decided she had no veins. They stuck her once and got one vial--they need 7 at the minimum. Then they papoosed her for the next stick. No luck! I am going to go back another day, making sure she has had lots of fluids, and see if they see more veins to choose from. She will probably start crying at the door, I would!
The doctor said he could not really even hear a heart murmur--I don't know how significant that is at this point, but I thought that was encouraging. And M. let him have a good long listen. She is in the 78%tile for weight and 60%tile for height. Her o2 Saturation fluctuated from 83-91%, but held at 89% for the longest time. That is just where we would expect it to be with her heart defect and the corrections that have been made so far. He did find that she had bilateral ear infections. He thought it was bad enough looking that she need antibiotics. So she started on amoxicillin. She doesn't like meds, so that is a bummer.
By last evening, she was so pathetic. She began to really guard her legs and then walk like she was completely debilitated. She was all hunched over, shuffling. It was so sad.
Now this morning, she is just sick and crippled! She was fussing early this morning and I went in to get her up. She was a fire ball--just a hot little ember. I just laid her on the couch and she is in pain with her legs and hasn't moved for over an hour. Hoping Tylenol gives her some relief. I see a couple naps in her future as she looks like she could just fall back to sleep already. Sure enough...she is falling to sleep as I write this. Poor baby!
Since there was no wait and she did so well, I decided to go ahead and do her blood draw for labs. That was no fun. She sat in my lap (first mistake) while they decided she had no veins. They stuck her once and got one vial--they need 7 at the minimum. Then they papoosed her for the next stick. No luck! I am going to go back another day, making sure she has had lots of fluids, and see if they see more veins to choose from. She will probably start crying at the door, I would!
The doctor said he could not really even hear a heart murmur--I don't know how significant that is at this point, but I thought that was encouraging. And M. let him have a good long listen. She is in the 78%tile for weight and 60%tile for height. Her o2 Saturation fluctuated from 83-91%, but held at 89% for the longest time. That is just where we would expect it to be with her heart defect and the corrections that have been made so far. He did find that she had bilateral ear infections. He thought it was bad enough looking that she need antibiotics. So she started on amoxicillin. She doesn't like meds, so that is a bummer.
By last evening, she was so pathetic. She began to really guard her legs and then walk like she was completely debilitated. She was all hunched over, shuffling. It was so sad.
Now this morning, she is just sick and crippled! She was fussing early this morning and I went in to get her up. She was a fire ball--just a hot little ember. I just laid her on the couch and she is in pain with her legs and hasn't moved for over an hour. Hoping Tylenol gives her some relief. I see a couple naps in her future as she looks like she could just fall back to sleep already. Sure enough...she is falling to sleep as I write this. Poor baby!
Gotcha Day Video
Below is our Gotcha moment. I know I blogged about it, but here it is in video form. Mahaela was so excited and had been well prepared. Just to clarify, she goes by Misha and calls herself that. Although she knows her name is Mahaela, which was also her birth name.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Leka Nosht!!
I will have to record a few of these bedtime moments because they are too precious.
Mahaela had her first dinner at grandma's last night--lots of people, lots of kids! She did well. Bill was able to take Mahaela home after dinner while I took the kids to church/Awana. He said they had a great time together. There really are so many sweet moments. She will take us by the hand to lead us to something. That helps, although I can understand "iskum salamchi" and don't really need to be led to the fridge...which is exactly what she did with Bill last night. He kept telling her he couldn't find any and he held her up to the opened fridge--she knew right where that wadded up piece of tin foil was that held the last 2-3 pieces of salamchi! So she got her bedtime snack out of the way. She also came up to him as he sat at the computer and leaned over his legs to let him just rub her back. Who doesn't enjoy these kind of moments.
Bill had her ready for bed when I got home and we put her down together. The pleading, puppy dog eyes and sad voice are way too cute and could almost make us change our minds about bedtime,...but no. We put her in her crib, still negotiating with us, offering the blanket which she swiftly refuses and hangs over the end rail. When she realized that we were really going to walk out, the jumping, yelling, crying began. We watched her from the crack in the door. She gave it a loud, but half-hearted effort. Continuing with her loud crying, but taking a moment to itch her face, pick her nose, eat a raisin that was still in her hand?, and then finally laying down on her belly, thumb in mouth--all lasting about 40 seconds! Good night little girl. I will have to get this on video!
I realized something about the being out, around people, away from home. It's not difficult to take her places, and she does not seem to be overwhelmed or overstimulated, really. But it does limit our ability to have "teaching moments" or to correct behavior. At Mom's dinner, I realized she was being ok, but the incidents that she was having (taking a sucker from Ryan, not letting him sit next to her), needed some correction, but I felt unable to correct her as she needed to be--just to avoid the possible cry-fit or tantrum that would follow. It's that way with every kid. How many times have we said, "we just need a day at home."? I call it boot camp. A day to just correct consistently, as needed, regardless of what her response may be. That is the phase we are in and need to stay in for a while.
Something about her behavior that I wanted to mention (Heather, you made me think of this)...Maybe I have said it before, but her behavior doesn't really surprise us and is the behavior of a toddler who has been coddled and undisciplined. I don't consider it institutional behavior at all, except for the fact that she did not always have the same person caring for her at every moment, which could interrupt any progress in discipline. We saw glimpses of this our first trip. She did not want to be carried, wanted down immediately, wanted to do it herself. Bill says we even have video of her hitting/pushing away one of the nurses--and, of course, they let her do it. They even fibbed to her to avoid any tears or tantrums. Her behavior is what you get when there is little discipline. Leave any toddler to their own self-centered desires and they will become very resistant to any teaching/correction. I have worked with 2-3 year olds for a few years in Sunday School and have had a handful of toddlers myself. The defiant ones are usually the ones that have been allowed to be defiant at home. Not rocket science. The ones that consistently don't want to sit at the table and "fall out" on me when I put them in a chair are the same type of little people that Mahaela is. After our first visit in the summer, we said she was a little spoiled princess, and that the transition to our reality would probably be a bit of a shock for her--and that is just what it is. Hauter Boot camp is not always fun, but I hope to have a little one who will sit at the table in Sunday School, without smacking the teacher, in a few months! Seems doable to us and we are hopeful.
Mahaela had her first dinner at grandma's last night--lots of people, lots of kids! She did well. Bill was able to take Mahaela home after dinner while I took the kids to church/Awana. He said they had a great time together. There really are so many sweet moments. She will take us by the hand to lead us to something. That helps, although I can understand "iskum salamchi" and don't really need to be led to the fridge...which is exactly what she did with Bill last night. He kept telling her he couldn't find any and he held her up to the opened fridge--she knew right where that wadded up piece of tin foil was that held the last 2-3 pieces of salamchi! So she got her bedtime snack out of the way. She also came up to him as he sat at the computer and leaned over his legs to let him just rub her back. Who doesn't enjoy these kind of moments.
Bill had her ready for bed when I got home and we put her down together. The pleading, puppy dog eyes and sad voice are way too cute and could almost make us change our minds about bedtime,...but no. We put her in her crib, still negotiating with us, offering the blanket which she swiftly refuses and hangs over the end rail. When she realized that we were really going to walk out, the jumping, yelling, crying began. We watched her from the crack in the door. She gave it a loud, but half-hearted effort. Continuing with her loud crying, but taking a moment to itch her face, pick her nose, eat a raisin that was still in her hand?, and then finally laying down on her belly, thumb in mouth--all lasting about 40 seconds! Good night little girl. I will have to get this on video!
I realized something about the being out, around people, away from home. It's not difficult to take her places, and she does not seem to be overwhelmed or overstimulated, really. But it does limit our ability to have "teaching moments" or to correct behavior. At Mom's dinner, I realized she was being ok, but the incidents that she was having (taking a sucker from Ryan, not letting him sit next to her), needed some correction, but I felt unable to correct her as she needed to be--just to avoid the possible cry-fit or tantrum that would follow. It's that way with every kid. How many times have we said, "we just need a day at home."? I call it boot camp. A day to just correct consistently, as needed, regardless of what her response may be. That is the phase we are in and need to stay in for a while.
Something about her behavior that I wanted to mention (Heather, you made me think of this)...Maybe I have said it before, but her behavior doesn't really surprise us and is the behavior of a toddler who has been coddled and undisciplined. I don't consider it institutional behavior at all, except for the fact that she did not always have the same person caring for her at every moment, which could interrupt any progress in discipline. We saw glimpses of this our first trip. She did not want to be carried, wanted down immediately, wanted to do it herself. Bill says we even have video of her hitting/pushing away one of the nurses--and, of course, they let her do it. They even fibbed to her to avoid any tears or tantrums. Her behavior is what you get when there is little discipline. Leave any toddler to their own self-centered desires and they will become very resistant to any teaching/correction. I have worked with 2-3 year olds for a few years in Sunday School and have had a handful of toddlers myself. The defiant ones are usually the ones that have been allowed to be defiant at home. Not rocket science. The ones that consistently don't want to sit at the table and "fall out" on me when I put them in a chair are the same type of little people that Mahaela is. After our first visit in the summer, we said she was a little spoiled princess, and that the transition to our reality would probably be a bit of a shock for her--and that is just what it is. Hauter Boot camp is not always fun, but I hope to have a little one who will sit at the table in Sunday School, without smacking the teacher, in a few months! Seems doable to us and we are hopeful.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
"Love You"
I know the words may be lost in translation for her, but Mahaela said "Love you" as she hugged and patted me today. So sweet. I have said Obiechem te many times and many times she has said "Ne, Obiechem" in response several times, which I think might mean "I don't love you." But today I said love you as I hugged her and she clearly said it back. I'll take it!!
She is doing so well. We went to get the kids from school yesterday and stopped at the bookstore. She did so good. She wants to be down, but she did let me pick her up in the parking lot, without protest. That is progress. She definitely is learning that the pushing away or hitting is not acceptable. She was great with me yesterday, but was a little pushy at times with the kids. They get in her face a little too much and she responds to that.
She is excited to see the kids after school, is super excited to see Bill, eats great, and rides great in the car and car seat. Pinch me, but this is going so easy.
She pulled me up, kind of pleading for me to follow her today. I let her lead me into the kitchen where she turned me into the counter and then said, "Iskum salamchi"--I want salami!
We were told that she really likes meat and salami by the orphanage and they were right. My other kids do too and we happened to have a stick of summer sausage in the fridge. She was so excited when Bill pulled that out the other day. So now she asks for it. She asks for yogurt also--cremchi.
She is a great eater--the kids are stunned that she would eat the tomatoes from the bruschetta I had last night. Yep, she will eat it by the spoonful.
Bill put her down for bed last night and she just stands in her crib. She won't let you cover her up or anything. I always give her a blankie and it makes her mad. She just takes the blankie and lays it over the side of the crib. She gave a few good trampoline jumps in her crib (I'm just sure she is going to inflict facial or mouth trauma from jumping and hitting the side rail) and then she just started pleading with Bill. It sounds like she is saying "save me." Not sure what she is saying in Bulgarian. She just pleads with her eyes. It's so sad. After a minute she laid down on her tummy and gave it up! She sleeps all night. Again, pinch me!!
She is saying new words every day. I gave little-to-no effort in learning Bulgarian. I am finding that it has not been that necessary to know exactly what she is saying, but now I am just so curious to know what she is saying. I need a little voice recorder to record her phrases and then have my friend translate for me. I know she will quickly lose her Bulgarian and it is such a part of her "cuteness" and character right now, that it is sad that it will be replaced. Most of her vocabulary has to do with wanting something...which sounds like "iskum..." She says please, thank you, come here, love you, juice and a handful of other words that she has mimicked. I am not using too much Bulgarian, trying to stop using ne and da--I think she knows yes and no. But now, it is such a habit. I said "ne, ne, ne" to Ryan last night and he reminded me that he wasn't Bulgarian. I didn't even notice I had said it. She says all our names, including Indy the dog. She has called me "mamo" more lately, than "mama." I'm not sure if that is a derivative of Mom or just her own mix.
Something that I would like to see her more willing to do is letting me hold her or read to her. She is pretty resistant to that. She is loving toward me a lot, but doesn't want to sit with me or be touched too much. I know it bugs her, but I keep trying to give her hugs and pick her up. She does give great hugs and has an unbelievable pucker up for kisses. So cute!
Tomorrow she goes to the pediatrician. I'm not sure how that will go, except that she was very receptive to pulling up her shirt for the Bulgarian doctor so he could have a listen. Dreading the blood work...they will need a team to hold her down for that! I want nothing to do with it. I was always of the school that didn't think parents should help restrain, that they should just be there to save them and comfort them when it's over. But something tells me I might get smacked anyway for having anything to do with it!!
Well, the days seem long, maybe suffering from a little bit of jet lag still (and staying up too late last night), but they are good days and I am so thankful for this time. God keeps blessing us--more than we deserve!
She is doing so well. We went to get the kids from school yesterday and stopped at the bookstore. She did so good. She wants to be down, but she did let me pick her up in the parking lot, without protest. That is progress. She definitely is learning that the pushing away or hitting is not acceptable. She was great with me yesterday, but was a little pushy at times with the kids. They get in her face a little too much and she responds to that.
She is excited to see the kids after school, is super excited to see Bill, eats great, and rides great in the car and car seat. Pinch me, but this is going so easy.
She pulled me up, kind of pleading for me to follow her today. I let her lead me into the kitchen where she turned me into the counter and then said, "Iskum salamchi"--I want salami!
We were told that she really likes meat and salami by the orphanage and they were right. My other kids do too and we happened to have a stick of summer sausage in the fridge. She was so excited when Bill pulled that out the other day. So now she asks for it. She asks for yogurt also--cremchi.
She is a great eater--the kids are stunned that she would eat the tomatoes from the bruschetta I had last night. Yep, she will eat it by the spoonful.
Bill put her down for bed last night and she just stands in her crib. She won't let you cover her up or anything. I always give her a blankie and it makes her mad. She just takes the blankie and lays it over the side of the crib. She gave a few good trampoline jumps in her crib (I'm just sure she is going to inflict facial or mouth trauma from jumping and hitting the side rail) and then she just started pleading with Bill. It sounds like she is saying "save me." Not sure what she is saying in Bulgarian. She just pleads with her eyes. It's so sad. After a minute she laid down on her tummy and gave it up! She sleeps all night. Again, pinch me!!
She is saying new words every day. I gave little-to-no effort in learning Bulgarian. I am finding that it has not been that necessary to know exactly what she is saying, but now I am just so curious to know what she is saying. I need a little voice recorder to record her phrases and then have my friend translate for me. I know she will quickly lose her Bulgarian and it is such a part of her "cuteness" and character right now, that it is sad that it will be replaced. Most of her vocabulary has to do with wanting something...which sounds like "iskum..." She says please, thank you, come here, love you, juice and a handful of other words that she has mimicked. I am not using too much Bulgarian, trying to stop using ne and da--I think she knows yes and no. But now, it is such a habit. I said "ne, ne, ne" to Ryan last night and he reminded me that he wasn't Bulgarian. I didn't even notice I had said it. She says all our names, including Indy the dog. She has called me "mamo" more lately, than "mama." I'm not sure if that is a derivative of Mom or just her own mix.
Something that I would like to see her more willing to do is letting me hold her or read to her. She is pretty resistant to that. She is loving toward me a lot, but doesn't want to sit with me or be touched too much. I know it bugs her, but I keep trying to give her hugs and pick her up. She does give great hugs and has an unbelievable pucker up for kisses. So cute!
Tomorrow she goes to the pediatrician. I'm not sure how that will go, except that she was very receptive to pulling up her shirt for the Bulgarian doctor so he could have a listen. Dreading the blood work...they will need a team to hold her down for that! I want nothing to do with it. I was always of the school that didn't think parents should help restrain, that they should just be there to save them and comfort them when it's over. But something tells me I might get smacked anyway for having anything to do with it!!
Well, the days seem long, maybe suffering from a little bit of jet lag still (and staying up too late last night), but they are good days and I am so thankful for this time. God keeps blessing us--more than we deserve!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
A New Day
We arrived home exactly 24 hours later, to a wonderful homecoming. As I sat on the plane, looking out the window I began to feel that shakey, adrenalin, I could just ball feeling. The moment was finally here. We were home with our little girl, we were going to see our kids and get to introduce her to our family. They had signs and balloons and matching tshirts. It was awesome. Mahaela just smiled and hugged so many of them. Hugging seems to be her natural response. I don't know psychology of it all, but it's what she does. She just looked so happy and took it all in. It was after 4 am our time, so we were a little wiped out and Mahaela had just a few short naps on the entire way home.
Getting out of Paris was crazy, complete with waiting in a pile of people to be reticketed for this new flight only to have the whole area where the ticketing desks were to be cleared out by police and airport security (with their huge automatic guns around their necks) because of an unattended bag. I had to pick up Mahaela to get out of there and she threw a big tantrum. Bill held her and just let her scream it out. She turns into a hair and head flopping, sweaty, smacking little spitfire! He just sat on a luggage cart with her. We were the last ones to clear the area and then I heard someone say they saw a "thumbs-up." I told Bill and her hurried again to the ticket counter and no one stopped him. He was waiting at the desk by the time a ticketing agent came. Boarding passes in hand, we headed through security. It felt Ground Hog's Day at this point. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 12 noon. Once through the gate, you have to take a bus to the plane--boarding takes over an hour for sure. Really amazing. Then about another 40 minutes just taxi-ing through runways. With about 8 hours flying time, we would arrive in Detroit about 2:45 Eastern Time. Even in Detroit, we were standing room only. It was a headache, for sure. It felt so good to get on that plane to Bloomington!
Mahaela did so good flying. She really ate great, took 2 short naps about an hour a piece. I had some things to entertain her, but I didn't even get to all that I had. We had a 5 hour layover in Detroit. After customs and rechecking our baggage, we sat down to eat at a restaurant. It was getting pretty late our time by then and Mahaela rode in the backpack and fell asleep on Bill's back.
Since being home, she has done so well. We think she is getting better each day with the hitting and defiance. We kept the kids home from school yesterday and just had a very lazy day being together. Nothing seems too "foreign" to her. The kids love her. We had to just remind them several times to back off a little. They get in her face and say things and ask for hugs and kisses. She wanted to smack them a couple times. I think it must be a little wearisome for her to hear all this foreign language and faces and sounds and people in her face. We put her down for her nap in her crib. She cried just as much as she does when we sleep with her, so we thought that was good. She took a good nap, which I woke her from so she would be tired at bedtime. About 8:30pm I couldn't stay awake another minute, so Bill put her to bed about 8:30 in her crib. She cried very little and slept wonderfully. About 4am, she was crying and fussing, but I didn't think she sounded too upset. We waited hoping she would go back to sleep and she did. I heard her sweet talking around 7:30 this morning. I think that is complete success!! She was standing in her crib, happy. She has been happy all morning, just walking around, playing with the dog, hugging and kissing her! She usually says "Zsdra-vey-tey" the first thing in the morning--very strung out like that. It is so cute. She ate good and has given lots of hugs and kisses. I just corrected her about holding a large framed picture and she gave me the stink eye and tried to push me away, but it was mild. I do think that she will get better with that. It's really funny, because when Bill is around, she will look to him to see what he thinks of how she is treating mommy. He usually will give her a look back or "come after her" if necessary. She will usually stop what she is doing and then try to pat me or kiss me. We are in the training phase, for sure.
Today is Bill's 40th Birthday and everyone is back to work and school. I have the same feeling I have had after having all my kids. Slightly post-partum, wondering what my new life will look like, hoping to settle into my new normal very quickly. Christmas just adds another layer of stress to it all. I so want to just enjoy it and be able to let go of what I can't do in order to just enjoy what I can do. Praying that God Grants me the serenity I need to accept the things I can and cannot do. I know He will!
I know so many of you prayed us home. As frustrated as we were, I know prayers were holding us together. Through it all, we were still nice to each other (and that is not always the case--traveling can bring out the worst in me!)
Well, I'm off to unpack and do laundry--a little reality!
Getting out of Paris was crazy, complete with waiting in a pile of people to be reticketed for this new flight only to have the whole area where the ticketing desks were to be cleared out by police and airport security (with their huge automatic guns around their necks) because of an unattended bag. I had to pick up Mahaela to get out of there and she threw a big tantrum. Bill held her and just let her scream it out. She turns into a hair and head flopping, sweaty, smacking little spitfire! He just sat on a luggage cart with her. We were the last ones to clear the area and then I heard someone say they saw a "thumbs-up." I told Bill and her hurried again to the ticket counter and no one stopped him. He was waiting at the desk by the time a ticketing agent came. Boarding passes in hand, we headed through security. It felt Ground Hog's Day at this point. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 12 noon. Once through the gate, you have to take a bus to the plane--boarding takes over an hour for sure. Really amazing. Then about another 40 minutes just taxi-ing through runways. With about 8 hours flying time, we would arrive in Detroit about 2:45 Eastern Time. Even in Detroit, we were standing room only. It was a headache, for sure. It felt so good to get on that plane to Bloomington!
Mahaela did so good flying. She really ate great, took 2 short naps about an hour a piece. I had some things to entertain her, but I didn't even get to all that I had. We had a 5 hour layover in Detroit. After customs and rechecking our baggage, we sat down to eat at a restaurant. It was getting pretty late our time by then and Mahaela rode in the backpack and fell asleep on Bill's back.
Since being home, she has done so well. We think she is getting better each day with the hitting and defiance. We kept the kids home from school yesterday and just had a very lazy day being together. Nothing seems too "foreign" to her. The kids love her. We had to just remind them several times to back off a little. They get in her face and say things and ask for hugs and kisses. She wanted to smack them a couple times. I think it must be a little wearisome for her to hear all this foreign language and faces and sounds and people in her face. We put her down for her nap in her crib. She cried just as much as she does when we sleep with her, so we thought that was good. She took a good nap, which I woke her from so she would be tired at bedtime. About 8:30pm I couldn't stay awake another minute, so Bill put her to bed about 8:30 in her crib. She cried very little and slept wonderfully. About 4am, she was crying and fussing, but I didn't think she sounded too upset. We waited hoping she would go back to sleep and she did. I heard her sweet talking around 7:30 this morning. I think that is complete success!! She was standing in her crib, happy. She has been happy all morning, just walking around, playing with the dog, hugging and kissing her! She usually says "Zsdra-vey-tey" the first thing in the morning--very strung out like that. It is so cute. She ate good and has given lots of hugs and kisses. I just corrected her about holding a large framed picture and she gave me the stink eye and tried to push me away, but it was mild. I do think that she will get better with that. It's really funny, because when Bill is around, she will look to him to see what he thinks of how she is treating mommy. He usually will give her a look back or "come after her" if necessary. She will usually stop what she is doing and then try to pat me or kiss me. We are in the training phase, for sure.
Today is Bill's 40th Birthday and everyone is back to work and school. I have the same feeling I have had after having all my kids. Slightly post-partum, wondering what my new life will look like, hoping to settle into my new normal very quickly. Christmas just adds another layer of stress to it all. I so want to just enjoy it and be able to let go of what I can't do in order to just enjoy what I can do. Praying that God Grants me the serenity I need to accept the things I can and cannot do. I know He will!
I know so many of you prayed us home. As frustrated as we were, I know prayers were holding us together. Through it all, we were still nice to each other (and that is not always the case--traveling can bring out the worst in me!)
Well, I'm off to unpack and do laundry--a little reality!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Day 5, Friday
I know, I got a day ahead of myself and said Thursday's post was day 5 when in fact it was day 4.
I am writing this Saturday night as I am stuck in Paris...
At this point, I don't think I can clearly recall details from Friday because I am writing this in the middle of a travel day that will forever be etched in my mind.
Friday was a relaxed morning with Mahaela getting a bath, which she really enjoys. She just played the whole time I got ready. Bill and Aubrey did their morning pastry run. We all went out for lunch at the Happy Grill. I call it the Bulgarian Applebees. It is a chain that we hadn't gone to before. The food had been described to us as food that American's like, done in a Bulgarian way. It was good. By now, we have the dining out mastered. M. played outside with Bill and Aubrey while we waited for our food to come, then we ask for the check right away. They never bring the bill until you ask for it...you could be completely done with your coats on and they still won't bring the check. So we were in and out fairly quickly. Bill and M. went back to the apt for naps and Aubrey and I shopped for souvenirs.
Rosi came to say goodbye. She did not have our visa yet as it was being picked up by someone else. They planned to give it to us on our way to airport. Seems a little risky, but it worked out fine. We had dinner in a nice traditional Bulgarian restaurant. I managed to not really cook all week and we got our fill of Bulgarian food. We had stopped by a really nice bakery/pastry shop and picked up dessert to go. Beautiful desserts, $6 for all 3! I think that is what makes the food so fun--it is so cheap, too. The US would have charged $6 a piece for these elegant desserts.
We got back home and had some wind down time. M. was harder to put down--bigger fit than she had been having the last couple nights.
I can barely even recap any of today...too exhausting. M. had lots of fits. She does much better with Bill and he has been amazingly patient with her. He has put alot more effort into entertaining her--he's always the fun one. I can't feel bad about this. She responds poorly to all of us. We just have to get through this tough time. This day was probably the most physically stressful day she has had besides her surgeries and she was exhausted tonight. She still had the energy to come after me like a raging bull to give me a swift slap, which I was able to dodge, which made her even angrier. There isn't anything I can do that doesn't make her want to slap at me. She is either pulling me to her (pulling, like tearing at my clothes) or pushing me away, or slapping me. If she is walking on her own, she does not want to hold my hand, will slap me if I try to push her or guide her from behind, and will have a complete rage if I pick her up. It is exhausting. All the while, she is charming. On the plane, she sat the entire time. She is content to remain in her seat, buckled up.
We are now in a Paris Radisson hotel because of plane malfunction. No luggage. Here will all sit in our complimentary men's white undershirt. Lovely. I like how the lady called it a nightshirt. Paid 10 Euro for more diapers...
Our dream of seeing our kids and all our family at the airport tonight has vanished...
Leaving 12 noon from Paris. Praying this attempt to get home works this time!
I am writing this Saturday night as I am stuck in Paris...
At this point, I don't think I can clearly recall details from Friday because I am writing this in the middle of a travel day that will forever be etched in my mind.
Friday was a relaxed morning with Mahaela getting a bath, which she really enjoys. She just played the whole time I got ready. Bill and Aubrey did their morning pastry run. We all went out for lunch at the Happy Grill. I call it the Bulgarian Applebees. It is a chain that we hadn't gone to before. The food had been described to us as food that American's like, done in a Bulgarian way. It was good. By now, we have the dining out mastered. M. played outside with Bill and Aubrey while we waited for our food to come, then we ask for the check right away. They never bring the bill until you ask for it...you could be completely done with your coats on and they still won't bring the check. So we were in and out fairly quickly. Bill and M. went back to the apt for naps and Aubrey and I shopped for souvenirs.
Rosi came to say goodbye. She did not have our visa yet as it was being picked up by someone else. They planned to give it to us on our way to airport. Seems a little risky, but it worked out fine. We had dinner in a nice traditional Bulgarian restaurant. I managed to not really cook all week and we got our fill of Bulgarian food. We had stopped by a really nice bakery/pastry shop and picked up dessert to go. Beautiful desserts, $6 for all 3! I think that is what makes the food so fun--it is so cheap, too. The US would have charged $6 a piece for these elegant desserts.
We got back home and had some wind down time. M. was harder to put down--bigger fit than she had been having the last couple nights.
I can barely even recap any of today...too exhausting. M. had lots of fits. She does much better with Bill and he has been amazingly patient with her. He has put alot more effort into entertaining her--he's always the fun one. I can't feel bad about this. She responds poorly to all of us. We just have to get through this tough time. This day was probably the most physically stressful day she has had besides her surgeries and she was exhausted tonight. She still had the energy to come after me like a raging bull to give me a swift slap, which I was able to dodge, which made her even angrier. There isn't anything I can do that doesn't make her want to slap at me. She is either pulling me to her (pulling, like tearing at my clothes) or pushing me away, or slapping me. If she is walking on her own, she does not want to hold my hand, will slap me if I try to push her or guide her from behind, and will have a complete rage if I pick her up. It is exhausting. All the while, she is charming. On the plane, she sat the entire time. She is content to remain in her seat, buckled up.
We are now in a Paris Radisson hotel because of plane malfunction. No luggage. Here will all sit in our complimentary men's white undershirt. Lovely. I like how the lady called it a nightshirt. Paid 10 Euro for more diapers...
Our dream of seeing our kids and all our family at the airport tonight has vanished...
Leaving 12 noon from Paris. Praying this attempt to get home works this time!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Day 4, Thursday
Today Mahaela awoke happy just as her nurses said she would. She has not gone great guns for breakfast since the first day. I don't push it, she just grazes. We found out early that we would have our Embassy interview at 2pm. We had decided we needed to cut back a little today. The slap fest that went on Wednesday was in part due to us being out a bit too much Wednesday. We hung around the apt. for a few hours in the morning and then went out for about 1.5 hours. M. loves the Ergo carrier that I borrowed for the trip (thank you, Leah!) She was content to be in it and we didn't get her out. She ate lunch on Bill's back. She had a deconstructed sandwich and a little cheese pizza! She does love meat! We shopped at little at the Hilo Market (now I am forgetting if that is how it is spelled?). I bought a few souvenirs--We owed Jake a tshirt that we failed to get on the first trip. I could buy so much more...but restraint has been prevailing.
By the time we were leaving the market, she had been sucking her thumb quite a bit and laying her head down on Daddy. We knew she was tired. And then the random slapping--just slapping Bill's shoulders as we walked back. Bill was afraid the whole afternoon would go down hill from there. But we had just enough time to squeeze a little nap in for her. She fell asleep quickly and got an hour nap before our ride came to take us to the Embassy.
The trip to the Embassy in all took about an 2 hours, door to door. The interview was simply formality and they seemed genuinely happy for us and interested in our experience--they were both women! Rosi will pick up our Visa Friday at 2pm. Then it is officially over--everything we need to bring her home! I was cringing a bit at the Embassy as M. buddied up to the complete stranger/man. She really is endearing--she must be because people stop to talk to her and give her lots of attention. To scoop in would result in a tantrum, so I just let it be. We are competing with the language issue. They think she is cute and can speak her language--she can't understand us and it seems like we say "no" a lot. So, we let her have her moment, but this won't continue state side. But, she was interacting so cute with these different people, talking to them. I am thankful that when she tried to give another man a kiss, he just blew one to her! So the fact that she was happy, made our long wait at the Embassy easy.
We got back to the apt. a little after 4pm and Mahaela and I stayed in for the night. Bill and Aubrey went out for a little shopping and brought back dinner. She had a good night, with very little slapping, and lots of rough-housing. She certainly tolerates a lot of activity, maybe breathes a little faster by the end. She had lots of horsey rides and gave some, too. It was play time/rough housing in Bill fashion--the kind that wears you out just watching it. So by the end, she was tuckered out and ready for bed. We got her ready for bed and gave her a benadryl. We were all laying in the bed and she was standing at the door telling us no, that she didn't want to go to bed. The door frame was already holding her up, let alone as the Benadryl kicked it. We wanted to make sure she responded well to it, before we tried it on any of the flights. It worked and made such a difference. She had basically sounded more "croupy" throughout the day. She coughed a ton the night before and just sounded so juicy, like post nasal drip was getting to her.
So a little Benadryl seemed to dry her up and completely stopped the night coughing. She went to sleep great, without crying more than a whimper. It is now 4 am and she is sleeping quietly.
We have all her court decree information. It is very interested to read. One thing I find very interesting, that I didn't know would happen in an international adoption, is that her parents are named. Knowing what her birth name is, which was given by the birth parents, didn't make it a stretch to be able to track who her parents are--she had their family name. It gives their names and birthdates. I asked why it would be made public information. The new family law allows for adopted children to request information about their birth parents through the courts. I think it is always a good thing to have the option for the future, but realize it is often not beneficial to access it.
Oh, almost forgot...Mrs. Toncheva made arrangements between Rosi and I to call and speak with M. Maybe I already blogged this?? But while we were in the car on our way to the Embassy, she called to speak to M. It was not upsetting for M., which I suppose it could have been. She just listened to her and then told her a couple times that she is doing good. Mrs. T. said goodbye to us and wished us safe travels. Rosi said she would really like to see photos of Christmas, which I am happy to send their way. I assumed it would be hard for her nurses and I guess it really is. I'm not sure what staff turnover is like at these orphanages, but I am happy to keep up with whoever is still there over the years. It would be so neat for us to be reunited with them someday.
Looking forward to our last day in Bulgaria. Looking forward to seeing my kids and having them meet their little sister!
By the time we were leaving the market, she had been sucking her thumb quite a bit and laying her head down on Daddy. We knew she was tired. And then the random slapping--just slapping Bill's shoulders as we walked back. Bill was afraid the whole afternoon would go down hill from there. But we had just enough time to squeeze a little nap in for her. She fell asleep quickly and got an hour nap before our ride came to take us to the Embassy.
The trip to the Embassy in all took about an 2 hours, door to door. The interview was simply formality and they seemed genuinely happy for us and interested in our experience--they were both women! Rosi will pick up our Visa Friday at 2pm. Then it is officially over--everything we need to bring her home! I was cringing a bit at the Embassy as M. buddied up to the complete stranger/man. She really is endearing--she must be because people stop to talk to her and give her lots of attention. To scoop in would result in a tantrum, so I just let it be. We are competing with the language issue. They think she is cute and can speak her language--she can't understand us and it seems like we say "no" a lot. So, we let her have her moment, but this won't continue state side. But, she was interacting so cute with these different people, talking to them. I am thankful that when she tried to give another man a kiss, he just blew one to her! So the fact that she was happy, made our long wait at the Embassy easy.
We got back to the apt. a little after 4pm and Mahaela and I stayed in for the night. Bill and Aubrey went out for a little shopping and brought back dinner. She had a good night, with very little slapping, and lots of rough-housing. She certainly tolerates a lot of activity, maybe breathes a little faster by the end. She had lots of horsey rides and gave some, too. It was play time/rough housing in Bill fashion--the kind that wears you out just watching it. So by the end, she was tuckered out and ready for bed. We got her ready for bed and gave her a benadryl. We were all laying in the bed and she was standing at the door telling us no, that she didn't want to go to bed. The door frame was already holding her up, let alone as the Benadryl kicked it. We wanted to make sure she responded well to it, before we tried it on any of the flights. It worked and made such a difference. She had basically sounded more "croupy" throughout the day. She coughed a ton the night before and just sounded so juicy, like post nasal drip was getting to her.
So a little Benadryl seemed to dry her up and completely stopped the night coughing. She went to sleep great, without crying more than a whimper. It is now 4 am and she is sleeping quietly.
We have all her court decree information. It is very interested to read. One thing I find very interesting, that I didn't know would happen in an international adoption, is that her parents are named. Knowing what her birth name is, which was given by the birth parents, didn't make it a stretch to be able to track who her parents are--she had their family name. It gives their names and birthdates. I asked why it would be made public information. The new family law allows for adopted children to request information about their birth parents through the courts. I think it is always a good thing to have the option for the future, but realize it is often not beneficial to access it.
Oh, almost forgot...Mrs. Toncheva made arrangements between Rosi and I to call and speak with M. Maybe I already blogged this?? But while we were in the car on our way to the Embassy, she called to speak to M. It was not upsetting for M., which I suppose it could have been. She just listened to her and then told her a couple times that she is doing good. Mrs. T. said goodbye to us and wished us safe travels. Rosi said she would really like to see photos of Christmas, which I am happy to send their way. I assumed it would be hard for her nurses and I guess it really is. I'm not sure what staff turnover is like at these orphanages, but I am happy to keep up with whoever is still there over the years. It would be so neat for us to be reunited with them someday.
Looking forward to our last day in Bulgaria. Looking forward to seeing my kids and having them meet their little sister!
Day 3 with Mahaela, Wednesday
Mahaela admiring herself in the photocharm necklace I was wearing.She took one for herself and has been wearing it ever since.
Mahaela all bundled up to go out.Wednesday morning Mahaela didn't wake until after 8am. I was not in the room any longer, but I thought I heard something. When I opened the door she was sitting up in bed, just smiling and waiting for us. She doesn't try to get out of bed, even at bedtime when she is throwing a fit. I'm surprised she doesn't just get up out of bed, but I'm thankful she is compliant in this area.
We describe yesterday as defiance day! She was exerting her will over breakfast and then threw in a couple slaps at Daddy. Daddy just held her in his lap. We don't care if she doesn't eat, she just is not allowed to slap. So I opened a box of yummy kids cereal and just started eating away...I didn't offer her any since she wasn't acting hungry enough to eat the toast, banana, yogurt, or juice. Well, her attitude softened and then a big smile popped on her face. Then I offered her some cereal, which she picked out the white chocolate covered ones out of the coco puffs.
We met Petko who went with us to her Dr. appt. It was a long wait in a very small hallway. I don't know if we had an appt. to come get into line or if we just got in line. You have to ask the group of people who is last and then you know you are behind them. As each person walks out of the exam room, the next one walks in. NOT the picture of efficiency. Someone said he thought the wait would be about 1.5 hours. Mahaela was great. She enjoys watching the other kids. We waited about an hour fifteen. She had a quick ear exam which she sat in my lap very nicely for. Then with the pediatrician she was great. He barely examined her, but did listen to her heart/lungs. She immediately pulled up her shirt so he could listen. The orphanage had told us that she really likes stethoscopes and that they bought her a play one. The Dr. said she had cavities--he must have good eyes. But those will need to be taken care of because of the risk of infection to her heart/valves. He just wanted to us to understand that she has the heart defect and that we are aware of her condition. It was more paperwork than exam.
We got back to the apt. around 1pm. We just played around the apartment and Bill and Aubrey went out a little and brought back lunch.
She took a little nap, with lots of protesting, hitting, and then found her thumb and gave up the fight.
We left the apartment again about 4pm to head out to the mall and playground. We were at the mall about 30 minutes. If she doesn't want to come with you or be held, it is a fit. She stopped to watch a lady peel and orange and the lady said hello and then offered her a piece. Bill just scooped her up and scooted her away. Royal fit! She is a very loud, hitting, body writhing, mad as a hornet little girl! We just get through it. We realize she is stretched this week in unimaginable ways, but we also have to set our boundaries. We don't know the psychology of it all. We just parent the best we can.
We took a cab ride to a traditional Bulgarian restaurant, Manastirska Magernica. It was good, but we needed to make this a quick experience. We knew we were getting to the end of what she could handle. She sits so great in her chair (what? one of our kids stays in their chair?? unheard of!). She eats pretty good, unless it wasn't her idea. We say she has squirrel mouth. She stuffs food in there that I can't even see where she is putting it! Salad, meat, cheese, tomatoes, bread. There was some loud protest and Bill took her out. This time her hand was ready to hit, but she did not. She thought about it a little and decided not to hit Daddy. We thought this was progress. She had hit both Aubrey and me in the taxi and Bill turned around and startled her with a strong "Nay" and the clap of his hands. So he thought his method of "shock and awe" was effective.
We walked back home, played around a little while and then headed to bed. She barely cried. She was tired. She sits upright, watching TV, sucking her thumb. I decided enough of this TV thing, as it won't happen at home, so I turned it off. She quickly rolled off her pillow stack to go to sleep. Aubrey and I slept with her. She now has a cough and coughed a lot during the night. Around 6 am she fell out of bed--which is very low to the ground. She seemed fine and didn't really wake up, but was very restless and the floor was noisy with her hitting it and moving around on it. But I just left her there as she was still sleeping and to move her would definitely wake her.
Something I forgot to say in a previous post was that Rosi called to check on us Tuesday and said that Toncheva had called in the morning saying that she woke up thinking about Mahaela and wanted to know how she was doing. I just feel so sorry for these ladies who are feeling the loss of this little girl. Her room at the orphanage must be very quiet and lonely right now.
They said she is potty trained, but that we should just use pampers this week until the excitement is over. I did have her sit on the potty chair one time. I think this is a case of she will potty when you put her on it, but never ask to sit on the potty. We will deal with potty training much later...next year sometime! Ha!
Oh, her first words in English were spoken in the car, leaving the orphanage. They were nose, followed by "buckle-buckle," then "wow." Now we hear occasional words that she repeats.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Day 2 with Mahaela
Tuesday was a free day for us, with no appointments, which was nice. Mahaela slept until 9:30. She had a great breakfast--toast, yogurt, milk, banana. I put down a half a banana and then had to look under her chair to see where it went. Aubrey was sitting with her and didn't see what she did with it--she ate it! She devoured the second half just as quickly.
After breakfast she just played around a bit. I gave her a bath and Aubrey joined her. She played in the tub quite a bit and liked it. They had put on lotions and perfumes on her at the orphanage making her smell pretty, which she did, but it was nice to make her smell familiar like all my babies have smelled. I even washed all her clothing in Dreft which says "baby" to me. Her hair was in a little french braid right down the middle of her head--I took it out and will probably never be able to duplicate that again.
Around 1pm we headed out for lunch and stopped at a restaurant. We just fed her anything we had that she would eat. She ate a chicken finger, tomatoes, cucumbers, cheese, spaghetti, salad. As they sat the food in front of us, she grabbed the cheese off of my salad and then used her fork to dig in. She appears to be short and stout--she is like me in many ways. She is solid and heavy, but her pants are long on her.
We used the backpack carrier to walk around and after getting in it 2-3 times, she liked it. It is great because she enjoys walking, but is so slow and the sidewalks are a walking hazard. We stopped at a park. She doesn't really like to get on the play equipment, but does like to watch the other children. She would occasionally say things to people as we walked by and they would say hello in return. She is probably saying "save me, help me!" Haha.
She tripped over Bill's foot and did a face-plant with a loud thud. She absolutely smacked her nose and upper lip and forehead. No blood, just a little red nose. She cried hard, but got over it quick. It was good to be able to console her.
Mahaela took a good little nap in the afternoon. She definitely shows signs of being sleepy and still needing a nap--yawns, sucks thumb. She just snuggled right up to Bill and took a snooze.
We went out for a walk and then to dinner. She sits patiently and does well eating out--such a Hauter, for sure. Bill went up to the dessert case and she had a royal fit when he wanted her to come back to the table. Thankfully, we were the only ones in our area. We just let her have her little fuss. The waiter spoke English, so he probably knew she was giving us the "what for."
She went to sleep at night about 9:30 with a little crying, but very mild and very short. She slept until after 8am Wednesday.
Here are some random details that I have not written about...
She makes a really cute sour face. We have some soda, which she apparently hasn't had soda before, that is pretty sour berry flavored. She puckers up in the most animated way. At one point, she even smacked her bottom like it was so sour.
She walks a bit pigeon toed, sometimes it is much more pronounced like a little waddle.
She had her first McDonald's, allegedly, the first evening. She liked french fries. She had a little bit of a McFlurry also. (Aubrey was starving so we stopped to get her something.) She likes ice cream, but just takes one bite and she is happy with that. We think the cold is a bit much for her.
When we try to get her to pose for a picture she squats down, but so do we. Aubrey had to point that out to me, because I wasn't getting it.
She really likes to copy things, especially Bill. At dinner, he took off his jacket, so did she. He crossed his arms across his chest, so did she. He takes off his shoes and puts them by the door, so does she.
She says "Shht." Sometimes she is just being cute with it. Other times she is mad about something. She says it a lot to Aubrey.
She has a tendency to hit, especially Aubrey, but she has taken swings at all of us. We say "Nay" and try to stay clear of it. If she tries to hit Aubrey, we give Aubrey a kiss. We all kiss, and then she usually softens and wants a kiss too. We will keep doing that so she understands that we love each other, not hit each other, and unless she wants to give kisses, she will just be left out.
She has had slight color changes, but not major. Mostly she gets a little "dusky" looking in the face, but after a big cry. I went to change her clothes and noticed her legs were a little purple, with a little sluggish capillary refill. If you didn't know she had a problem, most wouldn't notice these slight color issues.
She is very independent--just so typical for a 3 year old. She wants "Dow"--down. She has her own ideas and is defiant at times.
At the moment she is walking around eating potato chips like there's no tomorrow, and loving it.
Here are some pictures in no particular order.
Ready to walk out of the orphanage--"I will not leave you as orphans!"
Walking through the water for good luck--but we know luck had nothing to do with this day!
Parading us through the orphanage to show us her room
Mahaela's crib and room for three years
At lunch on Tuesday, getting a little sleepy
Riding around on Daddy's back
After breakfast she just played around a bit. I gave her a bath and Aubrey joined her. She played in the tub quite a bit and liked it. They had put on lotions and perfumes on her at the orphanage making her smell pretty, which she did, but it was nice to make her smell familiar like all my babies have smelled. I even washed all her clothing in Dreft which says "baby" to me. Her hair was in a little french braid right down the middle of her head--I took it out and will probably never be able to duplicate that again.
Around 1pm we headed out for lunch and stopped at a restaurant. We just fed her anything we had that she would eat. She ate a chicken finger, tomatoes, cucumbers, cheese, spaghetti, salad. As they sat the food in front of us, she grabbed the cheese off of my salad and then used her fork to dig in. She appears to be short and stout--she is like me in many ways. She is solid and heavy, but her pants are long on her.
We used the backpack carrier to walk around and after getting in it 2-3 times, she liked it. It is great because she enjoys walking, but is so slow and the sidewalks are a walking hazard. We stopped at a park. She doesn't really like to get on the play equipment, but does like to watch the other children. She would occasionally say things to people as we walked by and they would say hello in return. She is probably saying "save me, help me!" Haha.
She tripped over Bill's foot and did a face-plant with a loud thud. She absolutely smacked her nose and upper lip and forehead. No blood, just a little red nose. She cried hard, but got over it quick. It was good to be able to console her.
Mahaela took a good little nap in the afternoon. She definitely shows signs of being sleepy and still needing a nap--yawns, sucks thumb. She just snuggled right up to Bill and took a snooze.
We went out for a walk and then to dinner. She sits patiently and does well eating out--such a Hauter, for sure. Bill went up to the dessert case and she had a royal fit when he wanted her to come back to the table. Thankfully, we were the only ones in our area. We just let her have her little fuss. The waiter spoke English, so he probably knew she was giving us the "what for."
She went to sleep at night about 9:30 with a little crying, but very mild and very short. She slept until after 8am Wednesday.
Here are some random details that I have not written about...
She makes a really cute sour face. We have some soda, which she apparently hasn't had soda before, that is pretty sour berry flavored. She puckers up in the most animated way. At one point, she even smacked her bottom like it was so sour.
She walks a bit pigeon toed, sometimes it is much more pronounced like a little waddle.
She had her first McDonald's, allegedly, the first evening. She liked french fries. She had a little bit of a McFlurry also. (Aubrey was starving so we stopped to get her something.) She likes ice cream, but just takes one bite and she is happy with that. We think the cold is a bit much for her.
When we try to get her to pose for a picture she squats down, but so do we. Aubrey had to point that out to me, because I wasn't getting it.
She really likes to copy things, especially Bill. At dinner, he took off his jacket, so did she. He crossed his arms across his chest, so did she. He takes off his shoes and puts them by the door, so does she.
She says "Shht." Sometimes she is just being cute with it. Other times she is mad about something. She says it a lot to Aubrey.
She has a tendency to hit, especially Aubrey, but she has taken swings at all of us. We say "Nay" and try to stay clear of it. If she tries to hit Aubrey, we give Aubrey a kiss. We all kiss, and then she usually softens and wants a kiss too. We will keep doing that so she understands that we love each other, not hit each other, and unless she wants to give kisses, she will just be left out.
She has had slight color changes, but not major. Mostly she gets a little "dusky" looking in the face, but after a big cry. I went to change her clothes and noticed her legs were a little purple, with a little sluggish capillary refill. If you didn't know she had a problem, most wouldn't notice these slight color issues.
She is very independent--just so typical for a 3 year old. She wants "Dow"--down. She has her own ideas and is defiant at times.
At the moment she is walking around eating potato chips like there's no tomorrow, and loving it.
Here are some pictures in no particular order.
Ready to walk out of the orphanage--"I will not leave you as orphans!"
Walking through the water for good luck--but we know luck had nothing to do with this day!
Parading us through the orphanage to show us her room
Mahaela's crib and room for three years
At lunch on Tuesday, getting a little sleepy
Riding around on Daddy's back
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