Waiting to hear a little longer...

I was informed that it will be after October 1st before we hear of our court hearing being scheduled. There is a bit of a backlog, as I understand it, due to judges taking their vacations and courts slowing down. So after judges return to work they have to wade through cases that are waiting to have their turn in court. I expect to hear something after Oct. 1. They will hopefully get a quick court date, but it could really be scheduled even a month or so down the road. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is still a bit too dim for me! I can't wait to see our little girl again--our little Hauter girl--and have her all to ourselves--to attempt to meet her needs and just love on her.

For some reason, I have really given up on learning Bulgarian. Maybe I am wrong, but I feel I won't be that effective with it anyway. I'm sure I will come home in a complete panic and be searching online for how to say all kinds of things. But for now, I have misplaced my Bulgarian Phrases CD and the wind is out of my sails about it all. Can I get by with...It's ok, yes, no, sit, thirsty, hungry, pee, and Mommy and daddy love you?! Isn't that about all any 3 year old needs to know?? I guess after the first trip I got a good feel for how we communicated. There wasn't that much translating going on between us. We were just content being and playing together. I hope hugs go a long way! (Someone needs to talk some sense into me if I am completely wrong!)

So it continues to be a case of "hurry up and wait" a little longer. And all along I have been overnighting every mailing...(do you want it there by 10 am or 2 pm? Oh, 10 am for sure, because that could make all the difference in the world...and in the end it is sitting in the same pile as those who saved themselves the extra bucks and skipped the overnighting--oh, the irony!) There is something comforting about doing everything you can in your control to make it happen sooner, even if it doesn't really help at all.
I hope to post again in a couple weeks that we have a court date and it is much sooner than later...stay tuned.

Missing my girl

More and more I am thinking of her. She is woven like a thread through my day. I think of her at various times just as I do my other kids. I am looking at her picture and wishing I knew more of her. I really can't wait to know all the details of her personality--that which makes her unique. I can't wait to hear her sweet voice again and see her cute little walk. The weather is turning cooler and I am longing to snuggle up with her.
Baby, I'm missing you tonight.

Meant To Be

Oh, I have found a great song...It had "0" views on youtube so it must be very fresh. It is by Steven Curtis Chapman and is a song for a new Veggie Tales movie about adoption--although I can't find a summary about it's theme yet. Thanks to a Facebook friend who works with SCC for posting it. Check it out--kids adopted or not need to hear it's message.

Have you considered...(the cost)?

Mostly to our family and friends:

In reference to our adoption, this question was asked of us...It began with "Have you considered...?" It was in reference to something specific and it was not asked by anyone that we consider to be family or dear friend. The bottom line is...have we considered what this will cost?

The answer is "YES!!!" To be honest only Bill really considered the facet that we were being asked to consider. I had considered the question, but it was so quickly dismissed in my mind.

This is what I did consider...I considered how this adoption might affect my comfort, my life, my children, my husband, my marriage, my future, my relationships, my soul.

Then I considered how our adopting a child would affect all those around me that I love--especially how it would affect each of my children. In thinking through all these things to consider, I needed to hear if what we thought God was asking us to do was actually God--His leading. God did not deviate--when He called, He called.

Have we considered the COST? The adoption of our little girl may cost us dearly. The financial cost is nothing--it's like buying a car. I've bought a few, I know we will pay it off! (I do understand that buying a car is significant money, but most people still afford themselves the luxury.) It's not money that I'm talking about. It will most certainly cost us comfort and will certainly change many things in our lives...But God is in it, so whatever the cost, the blessing of obedience will far outweigh the price we are asked to pay.

I think about our decision to have Lindsey. We wanted a fourth child and had always planned to have a fourth child, but I remember very clearly thinking and saying that I could not do it without our friends and family. Maybe some would say that if you can't do it alone, you should maybe not do it at all. As I have said before, I have prayed many times with Lindsey and thanked God for giving her to our family--she is a joy. I hope we don't make these decisions selfishly, but instead willingly accept the children God has for our family.

I can't help thinking how much better and more joyful our life is because friends and family share in our burden and responsibility of raising our children. Bill and I and our children all benefit from our dear friend's and family's love and involvement in our lives. We are all better because you pray for us, visit us, babysit while we leave for a night or a week, drive carpool, give rides, send cards, sit on sidelines, cheer, share a meal with us, clean our messes--the list could go on forever. There is bringing up a child, and then there is BRINGING UP A CHILD. Those we love have helped us without a doubt to BRING UP A CHILD.

So I have considered what it will cost all of you for us to bring another child into our family. If you all continue as you have, it will cost you something for sure. My prayer is that the blessing of our little one in your life will be your reward.

Thank you for all you mean to us and all you do for us. We love you all!

I think this is truly the end of the paperchase!

I said, "I think." I wouldn't be surprised if something else comes up, but today I overnighted what I believe will be the last bit of paperwork required of me. Yipee! I received our I800 approval in the mail yesterday 8/17. I gathered our new FBI clearances, new medical clearances, and the I800/I797 and took a little trip to Springfield to have them apostilled. These are pretty fancy stamps affixed to the documents that attest that they have been properly notarized. I think it is a bit odd that I haven't received one original, notarized, stamped official anything on our little girl--just an email attachment! But I did see her with my own eyes and that is more than enough. I then sent the documents to my agency to be forwarded on to Bulgaria. We are hoping and praying that we will be stunned by how quickly Bulgaria moves. We shall see.
We are all thinking about her a lot. Out of the blue someone will ask something about her. Aubrey asked today in the car, "you are going to let me hold her, aren't you?" I had told her earlier that we needed to be a little careful about how much she held her. I said M. was going to like her better than me, if we weren't careful. Aubrey can't wait to meet her, and says so all the time.
I am dreaming of all the mommy things that I have never had a chance to do with her...give her a bath, comb her cute, curly hair, watch her sleep, clip her fingernails. Can't wait to hear her sweet little voice again.
It has been one month since we first met her. What a great day that was. My favorite part was seeing how much Bill really liked her. We loved her before we even met her, but seeing him react to her was heartwarming. He really thought she was cute. It was almost like he kept looking at me and commenting like we had just won the lottery--like, "how great is she?" It reminded me a lot of when we first had Aubrey. We were so unbelievably proud. I guess it's just how parents think.
School starts Monday. I know the time will pass so quickly. I have rooms to get ready. I hope I get into some serious nesting!
As I write this, I can't stop thinking of how blessed I am. God is so good and so faithful--in spite of me.

Good News from the Grapevine

We have heard from our agency today that we have USCIS approval. We are dealing with the government here, people...we are amazed that it has gone so swiftly. We haven't received anything in the mail yet ourselves, but hopefully it will be in tomorrow's mail. 2 1/2 weeks. Did I say how amazing that is??!! We did put in a request to expedite her approval due to some medical issues. I wasn't sure how much time it may shave off the wait or if even it would save any time at all. As of 8/11 USCIS told me that they hadn't received my I800 yet. But I received a letter dated 8/5 stating that they had received it and it was in process. Obviously there was some inaccurate information given to me. They in fact did have it and have already acted on it!

Now, once it is actually in my hand, I can get our new medicals, new FBI prints, and official I800 approval (I-797) apostilled in Springfield again and sent on to Bulgaria via our agency.

God is truly in this. I am selfish. I want her home for me, for us all. But I really want her home for her own good. To give her even more time to adjust to the changes in her life. To give her time to build trust in us. We will all need this extra time with her before her medical issues need to be addressed. Any extra time is an awesome blessing.

I stated in the side bar--About Me--that we were called to adopt, but it would be all God that would bring it to be...and He is.

I800 Complete and Sent to USCIS

Our agency forwarded our I800 to USCIS. I believe it will be a quick turn around to get our approval. Our USCIS officer is already aware of our referral and seems very attentive. I may be wrong and very disappointed, but time will tell. We already have our medicals redone and FBI prints were sent 2nd week of June. In case they are not back by the time the I800 approval is given, we have requested local police clearance. This is something that we were asked to do while we were in Bulgaria. I informed our agency that we already had sent in for FBI clearance and they thought that was best. I thought that only FBI prints were acceptable. Apparently something in hand by the time you are ready to go to court is better than nothing and may be enough to fly?? Our local police said that they state in the clearance that they have checked the FBI data base and that we don't have a record. Both entities attest to the same fact. So we will just be prepared to give them whatever we have in hand by the time the I800 approval is given. Our tiny town local police chief seemed to get a kick out of helping us. You can't live most places and expect the chief of police to come to your home to get your permission signatures ("Are you home? I'll just come by and get your permission signatures.") and sit at your table and chat a while. I wish more of the process and paperwork had this personal and benevolent feeling. Umm, not the norm! I asked if there was a fee and he said, "Just a hug from that sweet baby girl you're bringing home!" How nice!