Thursday, March 24, 2011

Hope for Surgery is Fading

I know it sounds completely selfish, but I really want Mahaela to have her surgery on Tuesday. It just felt like the best time. It is about the least disruptive week to have the surgery...of the whole year it feels like. I know, an exaggeration, but not a huge one. Anxiety builds for me when I have to consider how things will work out for the other kids. I just don't have any anxiety over next week. I'm concerned for Mahaela, but not anxious. I really just desire for her surgery to be in the past...not hanging over our heads. But our hopes are fading. Mahaela needs a miracle for her lymph node to recede/soften back to normal and even then, I feel as though they may cancel it just due to her having this recent infection. It's all for a reason.
If it is cancelled then it is a huge question mark of when we will reschedule it--2 weeks or 5 months??

On a happy note...she is a little dolly sleeping next to me as I type this. She is having fun with her cousins in Colorado. She has been sleeping with us a lot lately and always asks to sleep in our bed...Bill caves. We love just talking about her and loving on her while she sleeps so sweetly. She is a sweet blessing.

1 comment:

Lori Schumaker said...

So sweet...I love the vision of her sleeping while you wrote your blog entry. Our kids have always been ones to crawl into our bed sometime in the middle of the night. I treasure those memories of them sleeping so soundly and feeling so safe right between the two of us :-)

I'll be praying for the doctors to make the right decision regarding Mahaela's surgery. Why is it so often that God's timing seems to be so different than ours? We have to cling to the knowledge that His timing is perfect... (hmm...boy, haven't I fought that one the last few months! ;-) )

Sending hugs,
Lori