The First 6 Months of Forever

It's Memorial weekend. It's also a milestone day for us. 6 months ago we picked up Mahaela and walked down those orphanage steps and haven't looked back! I could just cry thinking of that day. I have been questioning Mahaela a lot about the details of her life in the orphanage. She says nothing about her time there. I wonder if she can even think "I didn't have a mommy then, and now I do." I'm sure her young mind can't really wrap around what has happened to her. I know she had happy times and was loved at the orphanage, but she simply can't hold these memories--she was a two year old.

Also, 2 months ago she had her open heart surgery. She is doing fabulous. In the past 2 weeks, she has seen both her cardiologist and her surgeon. She also had an echocardiogram. They all agree that she is doing great. We were able to stop her lasix. She takes an antibiotic, aspirin, heart medication, and vitamin every day. They believe she can be weaned off of her heart med in about 6 months since she did not require any heart meds before her surgery. She recently had another ear infection which required us to change her antibiotic for 10 days. In spite of these minor things, she is the picture of health! Praise the Lord. She has energy and stamina that is at or above the level of any 3 year old. She loves the "jumpoline"--which we agree is a much better name than trampoline! She plays outside as often as she can. Tomorrow she will experience our pool for the first time. It is supposed to be a beautiful, sunny day. She will have to be slathered in sunscreen, but it's gonna be so fun!

I have been imagining this sweet little girl with sweaty curls and a dinky little swimsuit running around this place--those days are finally here.

She has been such a good girl. She has a tender heart, but at the same time gets so mad. She's mad, but she wants to say sorry. She really has been so easy. She loves to sleep with us--and we love it to. Last night she slept with Aubrey (and Ryan, too). She loved getting to do that. I went in to wake them for church and she was awake, just laying between them. It was pretty cute. Today she walked out after her nap and had a head full of sweaty curls, and says, "I just woke up." She says that all the time, with the cutest smile on her face--a true bedhead!

Well, I just wanted to give a quick update. I'm so thrilled that so many of my Bulgaria-to-adopt friends are getting close to picking up their sweeties also. It's a great joy to see others experience the miracle of adoption just as we have. It's amazing. It's a smile forever stamped on my heart!

Mahaela 3 1/2 years old

Next stop--POTTY TRAINING! I'll let you know how it goes, but I'm a big quitter! (which is why I'm reluctant to even begin!!)

5 Months Home

It's been an awesome 5 months. To be honest, my brain can't find words right now, so I can't wax eloquent about our journey together. All I can say is that I feel completely blessed. I wanted to be willing to do the "hard" thing for Jesus who has done the impossible thing for me. But in the end...I have just been blessed. We have been given a prize!
Bill asked the kids the other night what they thought of how the adoption went or how it was going. The kids just oozed at how great Mahaela is and how much they love her and how much she fits in with our family. We all feel like we cheated the system. It was pretty cute how they just couldn't get over how it has all worked out. It really is an amazing thing that happens when you think of the child you could "get" and you realize that it doesn't matter what child it is or what difficulties come with them...it is simply YOUR child. It's so difficult for me explain. Maybe someday the words will come better than they are today. I was trying to explain to someone how we looked at all these special needs and talked ourselves into some. The conversation in your head, to be blunt, is "I don't really want a child who has _____ or can't _____." No one "wants" an unhealthy child or a child who will face difficulties in life or who will be made fun of or who may die young or....We all pray for healthy children to be born. But somewhere in the decision to choose a special needs child the conversation switches to "that's my child who has ____ and yes I can, will, and still love them!" Bill and I have commented several times on a message board post from a mom describing her adopted son...he sounded simply awful and she gave a great description of how awful he was. But the very next sentence had a beautiful description of her child--a picture of how connected they were and how much she loved him! Could it really be the same child?? At the same time that we have the capacity to be disappointed, dislike, hate (yes, gotta be real...I do hate some things the kids do or how they act. Hate is a strong word--so replace with dislike very much or detest if that makes it easier to swallow!) things about our children...we have all been given this amazing, God-given capacity to feel love beyond comprehension. Love covers all.
Ok...I can see that I'm trying and possibly failing to describe how I feel about it all...I will just leave it at that.

To give a little update...Mahaela is doing great as far as her recovery from heart surgery. The medical bills are rolling in, but we met our deductible in January:) So now it's just interesting to see all the charges. So thankful for decent insurance.
Some things that have changed...spitting is a very rare thing, as well as scratching and slapping--almost never, really. She does have a good stomp and leg slap to let us know she is really mad, but she also wants to "I wanna sorry" very quickly. She does not push away my touch or hugs or kisses which is wonderful. She sleeps in our bed most nights...which has it's pros and cons. She frequently asks for a blanket! She is warm and cuddly and a great sleeper. She will sometimes wake when I get kids up in the morning for school, but I just tell her it's not time for her to get up and like a good Hauter kid...she goes back to sleep for a couple hours! Love that! But twice in the past several nights she has fallen out of bed at night or at nap and really hurt her knees. Last night she fell and I can't believe I didn't hear her fall or get back into our bed--which is high and difficult to do! I didn't hear her until she cried and cried about her knees which are already black and blue. She bruises terrible from the aspirin. Anyway, we might have to make it a point to put her back to sleep (when Bill is gone and she isn't sandwiched between us) in her crib. I would hate for her to knock her head on the side table.
Well, I've stepped away from the computer for several hours and this post is long enough. Just wanted to share what she just said in the car--as an update to her language acquisition. Ryan told her "Leka Nosht" (good night) in the car and she said "I'm not going to bed." Then he said "Ti si hubuva" (you're cute, pretty, beautiful--I actually just forgot what one it means) to which she said "I'm beautiful." Kind of interesting how her mind translates, considering she can no longer say anything fluent in Bulgarian, or she chooses not to.

Looking forward to getting into bed tonight with my little snuggle bug...Oh, I'm sure Lindsey will join us later!

Home and doing great!

Not a very good snapshot, but this is Mahaela all set free from tubes, wires, lines, etc. Here she is roaming the halls just before we left the hospital. She has been home a week and a half and hasn't missed a beat. She is playing outside, riding her trike, running around...everything but the trampoline!
We saw the nurse practitioner last Monday, because our surgeon had an emergency case. M. had a great chest xray. We dropped her lasix from 3 to 2 doses a day. We had blood work and chest xray again yesterday (Monday) and it was still all clear and her lab work looked better. I thought it might show some electrolytes off a bit because of the lasix, but things were actually better than before. She was getting a little sunken in around her eyes--that dehydrated look to her. We were able to drop her lasix down to just once a day now. There is something about meds that just make you feel like you have a chronic illness...and she does...It's just that before surgery she was on just a baby aspirin--not even a prescription to deal with.
Now she is on baby aspirin--for her lifetime, Enalapril (vasotec, a heart drug which we hope she is weaned from, but there is a debate about it's protective benefits), amoxicillin, lasix, prevacid (which I also stopped today). She is so good about taking them--doesn't like lasix.
I don't know if I mentioned in previous posts, but she does not have a spleen. So she needs a prophylactic antibiotic for a couple years or perhaps much longer. She also needs a few more vaccines when she has recovered. We had a very thorough infectious disease doctor consult with us while she was in the hospital. He was great and gave us many articles from the literature on tests to be done on internationally adopted children as well as how to handle asplenic children. She will just always be at high risk for getting the really bad bugs...the ones that are resistent to amoxicillin!
We saw the pediatrician last week also. He is impressed with how well she looks. We will see the surgeon one more time for him to clear us and then we will see the cardiologist in mid may for an echo and check up. From that point on, the cardiologist will manage her care.
We were able to all go to church on Easter Sunday, together. We all sat together. Mahaela is doing better at sitting and whispering, but she did get taken out 2 times...it was long, so that wasn't so bad. She saw her Sunday School teacher that she really connects with and got to give her hugs.
The crazy tale spin of end of school stuff is upon us. In just a month the pool will be open and it will be hot--it's hard to believe. Mahaela will be all healed up and ready to play in that pool that she doesn't even know is out back--I wonder what she thinks it is??
So, that's the latest, greatest news. Now we move on to the crazy, boring-to-anyone-else, lives that we live.

A great adoption story!

You have to read this adoption story. It will always be a favorite of mine for several reasons. I don't personally know Michelle, but she is a friend of my two nieces, I believe they graduated from high school together, but I don't think I ever verified that. I do know they all connect on some amazing Girl's Night Outs. Our church "launched" an Orphan Care Ministry named Called2Care with an evening event with guest speakers Kelly Putty from Ordinary Hero and Jami Kaeb who is just launching a ministry with Lifesong called The Forgotten Initiative (find it on facebook until their website is launched.) It was a great evening--hearts were touched, people were spurred to action, and God was glorified. We wanted God to have his way with the evening and we believe that He did. Michelle's story is an awesome example of what God can and did do. Adoption usually requires a lot of waiting, money, patience (at least International adoption), but it doesn't have to...I love Michelle's story because it shows what God can do with just a "Yes, Lord!"

So...my nieces invited Michelle to the event and she and her husband were able to come.

Here is her story. Warning: Goosebump inducing!! (and you might need a tissue!)

In case you can't click on the above link, go to her blog: www.michellesblog6@blogspot.com.

Read her entry for April 18th.
I have made links to Kelly and Jami's blogs. They are wonderful to read and are a great encouragement. You might want to put them on your blog list! (Not "might"--you absolutely do!)

We Are Home

Praise the Lord--we are HOME!

Our morning started at 5 am with a chest xray...as it has for the past 18 days! Her xray looked great. They usually take blood from her central line after that for lab work, but this am, they had trouble getting blood from the line. 3-4 nurses tried before they could get blood. The last nurse had to pull back on the line a bit (which is stitched to her skin) and that caused some screaming. By then we were all really awake! Her labs looked good also, so we knew it was GO TIME!

Bill worked in the Emergency Department last night, so he came up after his shift. Mahaela was cut free from everything, so she was practically roaming the halls. The doctors came in to see her around 8 am and all her paperwork was ready to go. We left the hospital about 9 am!

Such a great feeling to just be in our home, together...making messes!

(Grandmas took care of my kids and house for 2 1/2 weeks and there are no messes. We are home 3 hours and it is like a tornado blew through...I just don't have what it takes to keep it all together.)

To look at Mahaela, you wouldn't know anything has happened to her. She has energy--at least the energy to fight with her siblings. We are so glad that she has healed so well. As Bill said, it felt really good leaving the hospital. It wasn't the 7 days that we expected, but it could have been 7 weeks, or worse.

Thanks to so many for praying. We couldn't have made it without those prayers. We were completely held up.

Thank you, Jesus!

It's Friday, Friday..

Have you heard the Youtube song? Well, we're singing it here! It's gonna be a great day and tomorrow is Saturday!! Right now we are waiting to eat until the surgeon comes to see Mahaela. Her chest tube has pulled out far enough that they want to just remove it today--yes! It's at risk for just falling out which could be bad. It's no longer able to drain anyway in the position that it is in, so if she would start to accumulate fluid it would require another chest tube. Her chest xray looks great. So the plan is to remove the chest tube today, start eating, watch her, have a clear xray tomorrow, pull the central line and go HOME. I don't care what time we leave here tomorrow, but I would like us to all be in our OWN BEDS tomorrow night. This is day 18 in the ICU. We have received awesome care. We have had a great majority of the nurses, so we feel as though we know them a little and they all know Mahaela. We have said many times how different this would have been in the old ICU. This new Children's Hospital just opened last summer. It is a great facility that has been completely family friendly. The other unit didn't even have a bathroom for families to use--you had to walk out of the unit and use the waiting room bathrooms. You had to sleep sitting in a chair, that they say didn't even fit in the room, or sleep in the waiting room. Here, I have had a very accomodating home away from home. OSF St. Francis can be proud. While we were in Bulgaria, I had brochures and photos of this new facility. We had just toured it. I was able to show her orphanage and physician the great facility where Mahaela would receive her care. Pray with us that going home will be our reality tomorrow. God has blessed us with many good days of Mahaela feeling great and content, without pain. We are so thankful.

Almost to the end

Mahaela is making great strides. Her chest tube is no longer draining. She is regaining strength and coordination. A few days ago she was holding on to us very hard to walk and was a bit uncoordinated. She has much more agility now. She is just ready for them to cut her loose. Daddy did so much with her today that she zonked out sitting in the chair around 7pm. She went to the activity room twice, walked three times, sat on the sofa in the room about 2 hours and was just very active today. We are praying that Saturday we will get to go home.

God has been so merciful to us in caring for Mahaela and providing us with wonderful friends and family who have carried this burden with us. Thank you all for praying and helping in very tangible ways.