Pack-pack and Love Notes

I have let a lot of time lapse since my last post.  I could probably write a book...but no time for that!  So I am just shooting off this short post to say we are still here.  I heard a speaker once at the mom's group at school talk about her experiences with fostering and adoption.  They had really suffered so much disappointment, but one of their Sunday School kid's said to the dad, "The neatest things always happen to you."  That is exactly how I feel right now.  So much has happened in our family, but God is good.  Don't misunderstand...we are not suffering, but sometimes what appears to be a diffuculty or hardship or inconvenience can be the absolute biggest blessing--the "neat" things in our lives.

I could put this in a post all it's own, but I had to share here one of the sweetest notes from my husband.  I am also sharing the video that prompted the email below.  I am blessed to see my husband love my children.

(after 8,452 tries, this finally uploaded!  Miracles never cease!)

Shell,
I can't stop watching that video. It is so cute, shows off her language and faces, and, of course, apparently she loves me. We have been truly blessed above anything I could have prayed or thought. God gave her to us, I know you knew it the whole time, it took me a little longer. I think it is amazing what you have done with her. I can't believe that God gave us the ability to love Mahaela like our others. I knew it could happen in theory but it has happened completely. What a journey we have been on. Loved every minute of it (with a few exceptions), and I loved doing this adoption journey with you - my best friend and the love of my life.

Bill

We met a year ago today

This photo was taken by my friend and fellow adoptive mom, Joy.  She and Nate really started the spark that led us to our youngest.  She simply made a post on her blog in February of 2009 announcing their intention to adopt.  That begged the question, "why not us?" 

One year ago Monday, July 19, 2010, we experienced the special day of meeting Misha standing on her orphanage steps.  There were several caregivers to greet us and lots of foreign language ringing out.  They were saying "Misha" and we had never heard that nickname before.  Bill kind of pulled back and said, "Is that Mahaela?"  We didn't want to mess up this first greeting.  It was indeed Mahaela!  She walked us right back to the office of the head nurse.  She gave us hugs and her signature pat on the back.  Her hair was fixed cute--they were putting their best foot forward.  She was sweet and spoiled!

The picture below was in the first few moments that we were with her.  She already had candy in her mouth and had also taken my sunglasses...she loves sunglasses! 

I am thankful for the day we met Mahaela.  It's a day much like my other children's birth days--a day that is difficult to describe in words--a day I will never forget!

I know this is from an old post, but it captures many moments from our time in Bulgaria a year ago.

7 months home today!

A few photos from summer days!

Mahaela on a car trip with headphones on--completely entertained.  She is a good traveler.

"I just woke up" as she would say.  The girl has HAIR!

Getting acclimated to the pool.  She prefers to just park it on the steps...which works out just fine!

Going down the wall slide at City Museum in St. Louis.  She really loved it.  She left with some hefty head bumps, bruises, and skinned knees and elbows!  (We [and by "we" I mean Bill] often opt for fun over common sense.  Don't send your 3 year old down a 3 story slide--they will reach terminal velocity!

Lindsey, Mahaela, Jake, Bill

Mahaela continues to do well.  She is recovered!  What a blessing and Praise the Lord!  We have had a great summer so far.  Zak cousins came for a visit and we all traveled to Missouri for the beautiful wedding of our nephew, Sam, to his bride, Jess.  If there has been one negative to the summer, it would have to be the lack of naps that Mahaela takes.  Today, she woke up with a stomping, angry attitude.  I think she needs a little more down time than she got this 4th of July weekend.  She got shots again last week--2 in her left thigh.  She didn't walk for a day and a half.  We carried her from bed to couch.  It was pretty sad and pathetic...and she might be a bit dramatic.  She did have a pretty good fever from them also.  She had to have adult versions of the pneumo- and meningococcal vaccines due to her lack of spleen.  One more Hep A the end of the month and she should be done for 2 years. 

The other negative to kids out of school, visitors around, and dad on vacation is that I lose rank!  It's a subtle attitude, but she easily dismisses me and definitely prefers daddy.  I'll survive.  Fall will come soon and we will be best buds again. 

We are really just enjoying her.  I can see much that we will be dealing with down the road and even now--she is a little spit fire and quickly goes from 0 to 10!  She is quick to pinch, scratch her siblings, especially Lindsey.  Yep, she's a pistol, but so endearing at the same time.  We just have to continue with the consistent correction. 

Almost a year ago we met her for the first time...that's another post.

She's a cutie!

I don't know if I shared this photo earlier in my blog...to lazy to check, but this is one of my favs given to me by the orphanage. I had know idea when it was taken, until I was downloading it to a file and the date and time popped up (I'm not computer savvy, so I wouldn't have had a clue that those details would be with the photo.) It says it was taken at 9:30 am 11/17/09--the morning of her second birthday. What a happy little girl. Was she just waking up?? Is that time accurate? If she was anything then, like she is now, she does enjoy sleeping in. 9:30 is not unusual for Mahaela--she's a good Hauter kid! And as she usually says, regardless of the time of day, "I just woke up!"
I was just looking up some photos after sending an email to her orphanage who was asking about her. What sweet ladies who must really be wondering about M. and missing her.

The First 6 Months of Forever

It's Memorial weekend. It's also a milestone day for us. 6 months ago we picked up Mahaela and walked down those orphanage steps and haven't looked back! I could just cry thinking of that day. I have been questioning Mahaela a lot about the details of her life in the orphanage. She says nothing about her time there. I wonder if she can even think "I didn't have a mommy then, and now I do." I'm sure her young mind can't really wrap around what has happened to her. I know she had happy times and was loved at the orphanage, but she simply can't hold these memories--she was a two year old.

Also, 2 months ago she had her open heart surgery. She is doing fabulous. In the past 2 weeks, she has seen both her cardiologist and her surgeon. She also had an echocardiogram. They all agree that she is doing great. We were able to stop her lasix. She takes an antibiotic, aspirin, heart medication, and vitamin every day. They believe she can be weaned off of her heart med in about 6 months since she did not require any heart meds before her surgery. She recently had another ear infection which required us to change her antibiotic for 10 days. In spite of these minor things, she is the picture of health! Praise the Lord. She has energy and stamina that is at or above the level of any 3 year old. She loves the "jumpoline"--which we agree is a much better name than trampoline! She plays outside as often as she can. Tomorrow she will experience our pool for the first time. It is supposed to be a beautiful, sunny day. She will have to be slathered in sunscreen, but it's gonna be so fun!

I have been imagining this sweet little girl with sweaty curls and a dinky little swimsuit running around this place--those days are finally here.

She has been such a good girl. She has a tender heart, but at the same time gets so mad. She's mad, but she wants to say sorry. She really has been so easy. She loves to sleep with us--and we love it to. Last night she slept with Aubrey (and Ryan, too). She loved getting to do that. I went in to wake them for church and she was awake, just laying between them. It was pretty cute. Today she walked out after her nap and had a head full of sweaty curls, and says, "I just woke up." She says that all the time, with the cutest smile on her face--a true bedhead!

Well, I just wanted to give a quick update. I'm so thrilled that so many of my Bulgaria-to-adopt friends are getting close to picking up their sweeties also. It's a great joy to see others experience the miracle of adoption just as we have. It's amazing. It's a smile forever stamped on my heart!

Mahaela 3 1/2 years old

Next stop--POTTY TRAINING! I'll let you know how it goes, but I'm a big quitter! (which is why I'm reluctant to even begin!!)

5 Months Home

It's been an awesome 5 months. To be honest, my brain can't find words right now, so I can't wax eloquent about our journey together. All I can say is that I feel completely blessed. I wanted to be willing to do the "hard" thing for Jesus who has done the impossible thing for me. But in the end...I have just been blessed. We have been given a prize!
Bill asked the kids the other night what they thought of how the adoption went or how it was going. The kids just oozed at how great Mahaela is and how much they love her and how much she fits in with our family. We all feel like we cheated the system. It was pretty cute how they just couldn't get over how it has all worked out. It really is an amazing thing that happens when you think of the child you could "get" and you realize that it doesn't matter what child it is or what difficulties come with them...it is simply YOUR child. It's so difficult for me explain. Maybe someday the words will come better than they are today. I was trying to explain to someone how we looked at all these special needs and talked ourselves into some. The conversation in your head, to be blunt, is "I don't really want a child who has _____ or can't _____." No one "wants" an unhealthy child or a child who will face difficulties in life or who will be made fun of or who may die young or....We all pray for healthy children to be born. But somewhere in the decision to choose a special needs child the conversation switches to "that's my child who has ____ and yes I can, will, and still love them!" Bill and I have commented several times on a message board post from a mom describing her adopted son...he sounded simply awful and she gave a great description of how awful he was. But the very next sentence had a beautiful description of her child--a picture of how connected they were and how much she loved him! Could it really be the same child?? At the same time that we have the capacity to be disappointed, dislike, hate (yes, gotta be real...I do hate some things the kids do or how they act. Hate is a strong word--so replace with dislike very much or detest if that makes it easier to swallow!) things about our children...we have all been given this amazing, God-given capacity to feel love beyond comprehension. Love covers all.
Ok...I can see that I'm trying and possibly failing to describe how I feel about it all...I will just leave it at that.

To give a little update...Mahaela is doing great as far as her recovery from heart surgery. The medical bills are rolling in, but we met our deductible in January:) So now it's just interesting to see all the charges. So thankful for decent insurance.
Some things that have changed...spitting is a very rare thing, as well as scratching and slapping--almost never, really. She does have a good stomp and leg slap to let us know she is really mad, but she also wants to "I wanna sorry" very quickly. She does not push away my touch or hugs or kisses which is wonderful. She sleeps in our bed most nights...which has it's pros and cons. She frequently asks for a blanket! She is warm and cuddly and a great sleeper. She will sometimes wake when I get kids up in the morning for school, but I just tell her it's not time for her to get up and like a good Hauter kid...she goes back to sleep for a couple hours! Love that! But twice in the past several nights she has fallen out of bed at night or at nap and really hurt her knees. Last night she fell and I can't believe I didn't hear her fall or get back into our bed--which is high and difficult to do! I didn't hear her until she cried and cried about her knees which are already black and blue. She bruises terrible from the aspirin. Anyway, we might have to make it a point to put her back to sleep (when Bill is gone and she isn't sandwiched between us) in her crib. I would hate for her to knock her head on the side table.
Well, I've stepped away from the computer for several hours and this post is long enough. Just wanted to share what she just said in the car--as an update to her language acquisition. Ryan told her "Leka Nosht" (good night) in the car and she said "I'm not going to bed." Then he said "Ti si hubuva" (you're cute, pretty, beautiful--I actually just forgot what one it means) to which she said "I'm beautiful." Kind of interesting how her mind translates, considering she can no longer say anything fluent in Bulgarian, or she chooses not to.

Looking forward to getting into bed tonight with my little snuggle bug...Oh, I'm sure Lindsey will join us later!

Home and doing great!

Not a very good snapshot, but this is Mahaela all set free from tubes, wires, lines, etc. Here she is roaming the halls just before we left the hospital. She has been home a week and a half and hasn't missed a beat. She is playing outside, riding her trike, running around...everything but the trampoline!
We saw the nurse practitioner last Monday, because our surgeon had an emergency case. M. had a great chest xray. We dropped her lasix from 3 to 2 doses a day. We had blood work and chest xray again yesterday (Monday) and it was still all clear and her lab work looked better. I thought it might show some electrolytes off a bit because of the lasix, but things were actually better than before. She was getting a little sunken in around her eyes--that dehydrated look to her. We were able to drop her lasix down to just once a day now. There is something about meds that just make you feel like you have a chronic illness...and she does...It's just that before surgery she was on just a baby aspirin--not even a prescription to deal with.
Now she is on baby aspirin--for her lifetime, Enalapril (vasotec, a heart drug which we hope she is weaned from, but there is a debate about it's protective benefits), amoxicillin, lasix, prevacid (which I also stopped today). She is so good about taking them--doesn't like lasix.
I don't know if I mentioned in previous posts, but she does not have a spleen. So she needs a prophylactic antibiotic for a couple years or perhaps much longer. She also needs a few more vaccines when she has recovered. We had a very thorough infectious disease doctor consult with us while she was in the hospital. He was great and gave us many articles from the literature on tests to be done on internationally adopted children as well as how to handle asplenic children. She will just always be at high risk for getting the really bad bugs...the ones that are resistent to amoxicillin!
We saw the pediatrician last week also. He is impressed with how well she looks. We will see the surgeon one more time for him to clear us and then we will see the cardiologist in mid may for an echo and check up. From that point on, the cardiologist will manage her care.
We were able to all go to church on Easter Sunday, together. We all sat together. Mahaela is doing better at sitting and whispering, but she did get taken out 2 times...it was long, so that wasn't so bad. She saw her Sunday School teacher that she really connects with and got to give her hugs.
The crazy tale spin of end of school stuff is upon us. In just a month the pool will be open and it will be hot--it's hard to believe. Mahaela will be all healed up and ready to play in that pool that she doesn't even know is out back--I wonder what she thinks it is??
So, that's the latest, greatest news. Now we move on to the crazy, boring-to-anyone-else, lives that we live.