I will have to record a few of these bedtime moments because they are too precious.
Mahaela had her first dinner at grandma's last night--lots of people, lots of kids! She did well. Bill was able to take Mahaela home after dinner while I took the kids to church/Awana. He said they had a great time together. There really are so many sweet moments. She will take us by the hand to lead us to something. That helps, although I can understand "iskum salamchi" and don't really need to be led to the fridge...which is exactly what she did with Bill last night. He kept telling her he couldn't find any and he held her up to the opened fridge--she knew right where that wadded up piece of tin foil was that held the last 2-3 pieces of salamchi! So she got her bedtime snack out of the way. She also came up to him as he sat at the computer and leaned over his legs to let him just rub her back. Who doesn't enjoy these kind of moments.
Bill had her ready for bed when I got home and we put her down together. The pleading, puppy dog eyes and sad voice are way too cute and could almost make us change our minds about bedtime,...but no. We put her in her crib, still negotiating with us, offering the blanket which she swiftly refuses and hangs over the end rail. When she realized that we were really going to walk out, the jumping, yelling, crying began. We watched her from the crack in the door. She gave it a loud, but half-hearted effort. Continuing with her loud crying, but taking a moment to itch her face, pick her nose, eat a raisin that was still in her hand?, and then finally laying down on her belly, thumb in mouth--all lasting about 40 seconds! Good night little girl. I will have to get this on video!
I realized something about the being out, around people, away from home. It's not difficult to take her places, and she does not seem to be overwhelmed or overstimulated, really. But it does limit our ability to have "teaching moments" or to correct behavior. At Mom's dinner, I realized she was being ok, but the incidents that she was having (taking a sucker from Ryan, not letting him sit next to her), needed some correction, but I felt unable to correct her as she needed to be--just to avoid the possible cry-fit or tantrum that would follow. It's that way with every kid. How many times have we said, "we just need a day at home."? I call it boot camp. A day to just correct consistently, as needed, regardless of what her response may be. That is the phase we are in and need to stay in for a while.
Something about her behavior that I wanted to mention (Heather, you made me think of this)...Maybe I have said it before, but her behavior doesn't really surprise us and is the behavior of a toddler who has been coddled and undisciplined. I don't consider it institutional behavior at all, except for the fact that she did not always have the same person caring for her at every moment, which could interrupt any progress in discipline. We saw glimpses of this our first trip. She did not want to be carried, wanted down immediately, wanted to do it herself. Bill says we even have video of her hitting/pushing away one of the nurses--and, of course, they let her do it. They even fibbed to her to avoid any tears or tantrums. Her behavior is what you get when there is little discipline. Leave any toddler to their own self-centered desires and they will become very resistant to any teaching/correction. I have worked with 2-3 year olds for a few years in Sunday School and have had a handful of toddlers myself. The defiant ones are usually the ones that have been allowed to be defiant at home. Not rocket science. The ones that consistently don't want to sit at the table and "fall out" on me when I put them in a chair are the same type of little people that Mahaela is. After our first visit in the summer, we said she was a little spoiled princess, and that the transition to our reality would probably be a bit of a shock for her--and that is just what it is. Hauter Boot camp is not always fun, but I hope to have a little one who will sit at the table in Sunday School, without smacking the teacher, in a few months! Seems doable to us and we are hopeful.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
"Love You"
I know the words may be lost in translation for her, but Mahaela said "Love you" as she hugged and patted me today. So sweet. I have said Obiechem te many times and many times she has said "Ne, Obiechem" in response several times, which I think might mean "I don't love you." But today I said love you as I hugged her and she clearly said it back. I'll take it!!
She is doing so well. We went to get the kids from school yesterday and stopped at the bookstore. She did so good. She wants to be down, but she did let me pick her up in the parking lot, without protest. That is progress. She definitely is learning that the pushing away or hitting is not acceptable. She was great with me yesterday, but was a little pushy at times with the kids. They get in her face a little too much and she responds to that.
She is excited to see the kids after school, is super excited to see Bill, eats great, and rides great in the car and car seat. Pinch me, but this is going so easy.
She pulled me up, kind of pleading for me to follow her today. I let her lead me into the kitchen where she turned me into the counter and then said, "Iskum salamchi"--I want salami!
We were told that she really likes meat and salami by the orphanage and they were right. My other kids do too and we happened to have a stick of summer sausage in the fridge. She was so excited when Bill pulled that out the other day. So now she asks for it. She asks for yogurt also--cremchi.
She is a great eater--the kids are stunned that she would eat the tomatoes from the bruschetta I had last night. Yep, she will eat it by the spoonful.
Bill put her down for bed last night and she just stands in her crib. She won't let you cover her up or anything. I always give her a blankie and it makes her mad. She just takes the blankie and lays it over the side of the crib. She gave a few good trampoline jumps in her crib (I'm just sure she is going to inflict facial or mouth trauma from jumping and hitting the side rail) and then she just started pleading with Bill. It sounds like she is saying "save me." Not sure what she is saying in Bulgarian. She just pleads with her eyes. It's so sad. After a minute she laid down on her tummy and gave it up! She sleeps all night. Again, pinch me!!
She is saying new words every day. I gave little-to-no effort in learning Bulgarian. I am finding that it has not been that necessary to know exactly what she is saying, but now I am just so curious to know what she is saying. I need a little voice recorder to record her phrases and then have my friend translate for me. I know she will quickly lose her Bulgarian and it is such a part of her "cuteness" and character right now, that it is sad that it will be replaced. Most of her vocabulary has to do with wanting something...which sounds like "iskum..." She says please, thank you, come here, love you, juice and a handful of other words that she has mimicked. I am not using too much Bulgarian, trying to stop using ne and da--I think she knows yes and no. But now, it is such a habit. I said "ne, ne, ne" to Ryan last night and he reminded me that he wasn't Bulgarian. I didn't even notice I had said it. She says all our names, including Indy the dog. She has called me "mamo" more lately, than "mama." I'm not sure if that is a derivative of Mom or just her own mix.
Something that I would like to see her more willing to do is letting me hold her or read to her. She is pretty resistant to that. She is loving toward me a lot, but doesn't want to sit with me or be touched too much. I know it bugs her, but I keep trying to give her hugs and pick her up. She does give great hugs and has an unbelievable pucker up for kisses. So cute!
Tomorrow she goes to the pediatrician. I'm not sure how that will go, except that she was very receptive to pulling up her shirt for the Bulgarian doctor so he could have a listen. Dreading the blood work...they will need a team to hold her down for that! I want nothing to do with it. I was always of the school that didn't think parents should help restrain, that they should just be there to save them and comfort them when it's over. But something tells me I might get smacked anyway for having anything to do with it!!
Well, the days seem long, maybe suffering from a little bit of jet lag still (and staying up too late last night), but they are good days and I am so thankful for this time. God keeps blessing us--more than we deserve!
She is doing so well. We went to get the kids from school yesterday and stopped at the bookstore. She did so good. She wants to be down, but she did let me pick her up in the parking lot, without protest. That is progress. She definitely is learning that the pushing away or hitting is not acceptable. She was great with me yesterday, but was a little pushy at times with the kids. They get in her face a little too much and she responds to that.
She is excited to see the kids after school, is super excited to see Bill, eats great, and rides great in the car and car seat. Pinch me, but this is going so easy.
She pulled me up, kind of pleading for me to follow her today. I let her lead me into the kitchen where she turned me into the counter and then said, "Iskum salamchi"--I want salami!
We were told that she really likes meat and salami by the orphanage and they were right. My other kids do too and we happened to have a stick of summer sausage in the fridge. She was so excited when Bill pulled that out the other day. So now she asks for it. She asks for yogurt also--cremchi.
She is a great eater--the kids are stunned that she would eat the tomatoes from the bruschetta I had last night. Yep, she will eat it by the spoonful.
Bill put her down for bed last night and she just stands in her crib. She won't let you cover her up or anything. I always give her a blankie and it makes her mad. She just takes the blankie and lays it over the side of the crib. She gave a few good trampoline jumps in her crib (I'm just sure she is going to inflict facial or mouth trauma from jumping and hitting the side rail) and then she just started pleading with Bill. It sounds like she is saying "save me." Not sure what she is saying in Bulgarian. She just pleads with her eyes. It's so sad. After a minute she laid down on her tummy and gave it up! She sleeps all night. Again, pinch me!!
She is saying new words every day. I gave little-to-no effort in learning Bulgarian. I am finding that it has not been that necessary to know exactly what she is saying, but now I am just so curious to know what she is saying. I need a little voice recorder to record her phrases and then have my friend translate for me. I know she will quickly lose her Bulgarian and it is such a part of her "cuteness" and character right now, that it is sad that it will be replaced. Most of her vocabulary has to do with wanting something...which sounds like "iskum..." She says please, thank you, come here, love you, juice and a handful of other words that she has mimicked. I am not using too much Bulgarian, trying to stop using ne and da--I think she knows yes and no. But now, it is such a habit. I said "ne, ne, ne" to Ryan last night and he reminded me that he wasn't Bulgarian. I didn't even notice I had said it. She says all our names, including Indy the dog. She has called me "mamo" more lately, than "mama." I'm not sure if that is a derivative of Mom or just her own mix.
Something that I would like to see her more willing to do is letting me hold her or read to her. She is pretty resistant to that. She is loving toward me a lot, but doesn't want to sit with me or be touched too much. I know it bugs her, but I keep trying to give her hugs and pick her up. She does give great hugs and has an unbelievable pucker up for kisses. So cute!
Tomorrow she goes to the pediatrician. I'm not sure how that will go, except that she was very receptive to pulling up her shirt for the Bulgarian doctor so he could have a listen. Dreading the blood work...they will need a team to hold her down for that! I want nothing to do with it. I was always of the school that didn't think parents should help restrain, that they should just be there to save them and comfort them when it's over. But something tells me I might get smacked anyway for having anything to do with it!!
Well, the days seem long, maybe suffering from a little bit of jet lag still (and staying up too late last night), but they are good days and I am so thankful for this time. God keeps blessing us--more than we deserve!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
A New Day
We arrived home exactly 24 hours later, to a wonderful homecoming. As I sat on the plane, looking out the window I began to feel that shakey, adrenalin, I could just ball feeling. The moment was finally here. We were home with our little girl, we were going to see our kids and get to introduce her to our family. They had signs and balloons and matching tshirts. It was awesome. Mahaela just smiled and hugged so many of them. Hugging seems to be her natural response. I don't know psychology of it all, but it's what she does. She just looked so happy and took it all in. It was after 4 am our time, so we were a little wiped out and Mahaela had just a few short naps on the entire way home.
Getting out of Paris was crazy, complete with waiting in a pile of people to be reticketed for this new flight only to have the whole area where the ticketing desks were to be cleared out by police and airport security (with their huge automatic guns around their necks) because of an unattended bag. I had to pick up Mahaela to get out of there and she threw a big tantrum. Bill held her and just let her scream it out. She turns into a hair and head flopping, sweaty, smacking little spitfire! He just sat on a luggage cart with her. We were the last ones to clear the area and then I heard someone say they saw a "thumbs-up." I told Bill and her hurried again to the ticket counter and no one stopped him. He was waiting at the desk by the time a ticketing agent came. Boarding passes in hand, we headed through security. It felt Ground Hog's Day at this point. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 12 noon. Once through the gate, you have to take a bus to the plane--boarding takes over an hour for sure. Really amazing. Then about another 40 minutes just taxi-ing through runways. With about 8 hours flying time, we would arrive in Detroit about 2:45 Eastern Time. Even in Detroit, we were standing room only. It was a headache, for sure. It felt so good to get on that plane to Bloomington!
Mahaela did so good flying. She really ate great, took 2 short naps about an hour a piece. I had some things to entertain her, but I didn't even get to all that I had. We had a 5 hour layover in Detroit. After customs and rechecking our baggage, we sat down to eat at a restaurant. It was getting pretty late our time by then and Mahaela rode in the backpack and fell asleep on Bill's back.
Since being home, she has done so well. We think she is getting better each day with the hitting and defiance. We kept the kids home from school yesterday and just had a very lazy day being together. Nothing seems too "foreign" to her. The kids love her. We had to just remind them several times to back off a little. They get in her face and say things and ask for hugs and kisses. She wanted to smack them a couple times. I think it must be a little wearisome for her to hear all this foreign language and faces and sounds and people in her face. We put her down for her nap in her crib. She cried just as much as she does when we sleep with her, so we thought that was good. She took a good nap, which I woke her from so she would be tired at bedtime. About 8:30pm I couldn't stay awake another minute, so Bill put her to bed about 8:30 in her crib. She cried very little and slept wonderfully. About 4am, she was crying and fussing, but I didn't think she sounded too upset. We waited hoping she would go back to sleep and she did. I heard her sweet talking around 7:30 this morning. I think that is complete success!! She was standing in her crib, happy. She has been happy all morning, just walking around, playing with the dog, hugging and kissing her! She usually says "Zsdra-vey-tey" the first thing in the morning--very strung out like that. It is so cute. She ate good and has given lots of hugs and kisses. I just corrected her about holding a large framed picture and she gave me the stink eye and tried to push me away, but it was mild. I do think that she will get better with that. It's really funny, because when Bill is around, she will look to him to see what he thinks of how she is treating mommy. He usually will give her a look back or "come after her" if necessary. She will usually stop what she is doing and then try to pat me or kiss me. We are in the training phase, for sure.
Today is Bill's 40th Birthday and everyone is back to work and school. I have the same feeling I have had after having all my kids. Slightly post-partum, wondering what my new life will look like, hoping to settle into my new normal very quickly. Christmas just adds another layer of stress to it all. I so want to just enjoy it and be able to let go of what I can't do in order to just enjoy what I can do. Praying that God Grants me the serenity I need to accept the things I can and cannot do. I know He will!
I know so many of you prayed us home. As frustrated as we were, I know prayers were holding us together. Through it all, we were still nice to each other (and that is not always the case--traveling can bring out the worst in me!)
Well, I'm off to unpack and do laundry--a little reality!
Getting out of Paris was crazy, complete with waiting in a pile of people to be reticketed for this new flight only to have the whole area where the ticketing desks were to be cleared out by police and airport security (with their huge automatic guns around their necks) because of an unattended bag. I had to pick up Mahaela to get out of there and she threw a big tantrum. Bill held her and just let her scream it out. She turns into a hair and head flopping, sweaty, smacking little spitfire! He just sat on a luggage cart with her. We were the last ones to clear the area and then I heard someone say they saw a "thumbs-up." I told Bill and her hurried again to the ticket counter and no one stopped him. He was waiting at the desk by the time a ticketing agent came. Boarding passes in hand, we headed through security. It felt Ground Hog's Day at this point. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 12 noon. Once through the gate, you have to take a bus to the plane--boarding takes over an hour for sure. Really amazing. Then about another 40 minutes just taxi-ing through runways. With about 8 hours flying time, we would arrive in Detroit about 2:45 Eastern Time. Even in Detroit, we were standing room only. It was a headache, for sure. It felt so good to get on that plane to Bloomington!
Mahaela did so good flying. She really ate great, took 2 short naps about an hour a piece. I had some things to entertain her, but I didn't even get to all that I had. We had a 5 hour layover in Detroit. After customs and rechecking our baggage, we sat down to eat at a restaurant. It was getting pretty late our time by then and Mahaela rode in the backpack and fell asleep on Bill's back.
Since being home, she has done so well. We think she is getting better each day with the hitting and defiance. We kept the kids home from school yesterday and just had a very lazy day being together. Nothing seems too "foreign" to her. The kids love her. We had to just remind them several times to back off a little. They get in her face and say things and ask for hugs and kisses. She wanted to smack them a couple times. I think it must be a little wearisome for her to hear all this foreign language and faces and sounds and people in her face. We put her down for her nap in her crib. She cried just as much as she does when we sleep with her, so we thought that was good. She took a good nap, which I woke her from so she would be tired at bedtime. About 8:30pm I couldn't stay awake another minute, so Bill put her to bed about 8:30 in her crib. She cried very little and slept wonderfully. About 4am, she was crying and fussing, but I didn't think she sounded too upset. We waited hoping she would go back to sleep and she did. I heard her sweet talking around 7:30 this morning. I think that is complete success!! She was standing in her crib, happy. She has been happy all morning, just walking around, playing with the dog, hugging and kissing her! She usually says "Zsdra-vey-tey" the first thing in the morning--very strung out like that. It is so cute. She ate good and has given lots of hugs and kisses. I just corrected her about holding a large framed picture and she gave me the stink eye and tried to push me away, but it was mild. I do think that she will get better with that. It's really funny, because when Bill is around, she will look to him to see what he thinks of how she is treating mommy. He usually will give her a look back or "come after her" if necessary. She will usually stop what she is doing and then try to pat me or kiss me. We are in the training phase, for sure.
Today is Bill's 40th Birthday and everyone is back to work and school. I have the same feeling I have had after having all my kids. Slightly post-partum, wondering what my new life will look like, hoping to settle into my new normal very quickly. Christmas just adds another layer of stress to it all. I so want to just enjoy it and be able to let go of what I can't do in order to just enjoy what I can do. Praying that God Grants me the serenity I need to accept the things I can and cannot do. I know He will!
I know so many of you prayed us home. As frustrated as we were, I know prayers were holding us together. Through it all, we were still nice to each other (and that is not always the case--traveling can bring out the worst in me!)
Well, I'm off to unpack and do laundry--a little reality!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Day 5, Friday
I know, I got a day ahead of myself and said Thursday's post was day 5 when in fact it was day 4.
I am writing this Saturday night as I am stuck in Paris...
At this point, I don't think I can clearly recall details from Friday because I am writing this in the middle of a travel day that will forever be etched in my mind.
Friday was a relaxed morning with Mahaela getting a bath, which she really enjoys. She just played the whole time I got ready. Bill and Aubrey did their morning pastry run. We all went out for lunch at the Happy Grill. I call it the Bulgarian Applebees. It is a chain that we hadn't gone to before. The food had been described to us as food that American's like, done in a Bulgarian way. It was good. By now, we have the dining out mastered. M. played outside with Bill and Aubrey while we waited for our food to come, then we ask for the check right away. They never bring the bill until you ask for it...you could be completely done with your coats on and they still won't bring the check. So we were in and out fairly quickly. Bill and M. went back to the apt for naps and Aubrey and I shopped for souvenirs.
Rosi came to say goodbye. She did not have our visa yet as it was being picked up by someone else. They planned to give it to us on our way to airport. Seems a little risky, but it worked out fine. We had dinner in a nice traditional Bulgarian restaurant. I managed to not really cook all week and we got our fill of Bulgarian food. We had stopped by a really nice bakery/pastry shop and picked up dessert to go. Beautiful desserts, $6 for all 3! I think that is what makes the food so fun--it is so cheap, too. The US would have charged $6 a piece for these elegant desserts.
We got back home and had some wind down time. M. was harder to put down--bigger fit than she had been having the last couple nights.
I can barely even recap any of today...too exhausting. M. had lots of fits. She does much better with Bill and he has been amazingly patient with her. He has put alot more effort into entertaining her--he's always the fun one. I can't feel bad about this. She responds poorly to all of us. We just have to get through this tough time. This day was probably the most physically stressful day she has had besides her surgeries and she was exhausted tonight. She still had the energy to come after me like a raging bull to give me a swift slap, which I was able to dodge, which made her even angrier. There isn't anything I can do that doesn't make her want to slap at me. She is either pulling me to her (pulling, like tearing at my clothes) or pushing me away, or slapping me. If she is walking on her own, she does not want to hold my hand, will slap me if I try to push her or guide her from behind, and will have a complete rage if I pick her up. It is exhausting. All the while, she is charming. On the plane, she sat the entire time. She is content to remain in her seat, buckled up.
We are now in a Paris Radisson hotel because of plane malfunction. No luggage. Here will all sit in our complimentary men's white undershirt. Lovely. I like how the lady called it a nightshirt. Paid 10 Euro for more diapers...
Our dream of seeing our kids and all our family at the airport tonight has vanished...
Leaving 12 noon from Paris. Praying this attempt to get home works this time!
I am writing this Saturday night as I am stuck in Paris...
At this point, I don't think I can clearly recall details from Friday because I am writing this in the middle of a travel day that will forever be etched in my mind.
Friday was a relaxed morning with Mahaela getting a bath, which she really enjoys. She just played the whole time I got ready. Bill and Aubrey did their morning pastry run. We all went out for lunch at the Happy Grill. I call it the Bulgarian Applebees. It is a chain that we hadn't gone to before. The food had been described to us as food that American's like, done in a Bulgarian way. It was good. By now, we have the dining out mastered. M. played outside with Bill and Aubrey while we waited for our food to come, then we ask for the check right away. They never bring the bill until you ask for it...you could be completely done with your coats on and they still won't bring the check. So we were in and out fairly quickly. Bill and M. went back to the apt for naps and Aubrey and I shopped for souvenirs.
Rosi came to say goodbye. She did not have our visa yet as it was being picked up by someone else. They planned to give it to us on our way to airport. Seems a little risky, but it worked out fine. We had dinner in a nice traditional Bulgarian restaurant. I managed to not really cook all week and we got our fill of Bulgarian food. We had stopped by a really nice bakery/pastry shop and picked up dessert to go. Beautiful desserts, $6 for all 3! I think that is what makes the food so fun--it is so cheap, too. The US would have charged $6 a piece for these elegant desserts.
We got back home and had some wind down time. M. was harder to put down--bigger fit than she had been having the last couple nights.
I can barely even recap any of today...too exhausting. M. had lots of fits. She does much better with Bill and he has been amazingly patient with her. He has put alot more effort into entertaining her--he's always the fun one. I can't feel bad about this. She responds poorly to all of us. We just have to get through this tough time. This day was probably the most physically stressful day she has had besides her surgeries and she was exhausted tonight. She still had the energy to come after me like a raging bull to give me a swift slap, which I was able to dodge, which made her even angrier. There isn't anything I can do that doesn't make her want to slap at me. She is either pulling me to her (pulling, like tearing at my clothes) or pushing me away, or slapping me. If she is walking on her own, she does not want to hold my hand, will slap me if I try to push her or guide her from behind, and will have a complete rage if I pick her up. It is exhausting. All the while, she is charming. On the plane, she sat the entire time. She is content to remain in her seat, buckled up.
We are now in a Paris Radisson hotel because of plane malfunction. No luggage. Here will all sit in our complimentary men's white undershirt. Lovely. I like how the lady called it a nightshirt. Paid 10 Euro for more diapers...
Our dream of seeing our kids and all our family at the airport tonight has vanished...
Leaving 12 noon from Paris. Praying this attempt to get home works this time!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Day 4, Thursday
Today Mahaela awoke happy just as her nurses said she would. She has not gone great guns for breakfast since the first day. I don't push it, she just grazes. We found out early that we would have our Embassy interview at 2pm. We had decided we needed to cut back a little today. The slap fest that went on Wednesday was in part due to us being out a bit too much Wednesday. We hung around the apt. for a few hours in the morning and then went out for about 1.5 hours. M. loves the Ergo carrier that I borrowed for the trip (thank you, Leah!) She was content to be in it and we didn't get her out. She ate lunch on Bill's back. She had a deconstructed sandwich and a little cheese pizza! She does love meat! We shopped at little at the Hilo Market (now I am forgetting if that is how it is spelled?). I bought a few souvenirs--We owed Jake a tshirt that we failed to get on the first trip. I could buy so much more...but restraint has been prevailing.
By the time we were leaving the market, she had been sucking her thumb quite a bit and laying her head down on Daddy. We knew she was tired. And then the random slapping--just slapping Bill's shoulders as we walked back. Bill was afraid the whole afternoon would go down hill from there. But we had just enough time to squeeze a little nap in for her. She fell asleep quickly and got an hour nap before our ride came to take us to the Embassy.
The trip to the Embassy in all took about an 2 hours, door to door. The interview was simply formality and they seemed genuinely happy for us and interested in our experience--they were both women! Rosi will pick up our Visa Friday at 2pm. Then it is officially over--everything we need to bring her home! I was cringing a bit at the Embassy as M. buddied up to the complete stranger/man. She really is endearing--she must be because people stop to talk to her and give her lots of attention. To scoop in would result in a tantrum, so I just let it be. We are competing with the language issue. They think she is cute and can speak her language--she can't understand us and it seems like we say "no" a lot. So, we let her have her moment, but this won't continue state side. But, she was interacting so cute with these different people, talking to them. I am thankful that when she tried to give another man a kiss, he just blew one to her! So the fact that she was happy, made our long wait at the Embassy easy.
We got back to the apt. a little after 4pm and Mahaela and I stayed in for the night. Bill and Aubrey went out for a little shopping and brought back dinner. She had a good night, with very little slapping, and lots of rough-housing. She certainly tolerates a lot of activity, maybe breathes a little faster by the end. She had lots of horsey rides and gave some, too. It was play time/rough housing in Bill fashion--the kind that wears you out just watching it. So by the end, she was tuckered out and ready for bed. We got her ready for bed and gave her a benadryl. We were all laying in the bed and she was standing at the door telling us no, that she didn't want to go to bed. The door frame was already holding her up, let alone as the Benadryl kicked it. We wanted to make sure she responded well to it, before we tried it on any of the flights. It worked and made such a difference. She had basically sounded more "croupy" throughout the day. She coughed a ton the night before and just sounded so juicy, like post nasal drip was getting to her.
So a little Benadryl seemed to dry her up and completely stopped the night coughing. She went to sleep great, without crying more than a whimper. It is now 4 am and she is sleeping quietly.
We have all her court decree information. It is very interested to read. One thing I find very interesting, that I didn't know would happen in an international adoption, is that her parents are named. Knowing what her birth name is, which was given by the birth parents, didn't make it a stretch to be able to track who her parents are--she had their family name. It gives their names and birthdates. I asked why it would be made public information. The new family law allows for adopted children to request information about their birth parents through the courts. I think it is always a good thing to have the option for the future, but realize it is often not beneficial to access it.
Oh, almost forgot...Mrs. Toncheva made arrangements between Rosi and I to call and speak with M. Maybe I already blogged this?? But while we were in the car on our way to the Embassy, she called to speak to M. It was not upsetting for M., which I suppose it could have been. She just listened to her and then told her a couple times that she is doing good. Mrs. T. said goodbye to us and wished us safe travels. Rosi said she would really like to see photos of Christmas, which I am happy to send their way. I assumed it would be hard for her nurses and I guess it really is. I'm not sure what staff turnover is like at these orphanages, but I am happy to keep up with whoever is still there over the years. It would be so neat for us to be reunited with them someday.
Looking forward to our last day in Bulgaria. Looking forward to seeing my kids and having them meet their little sister!
By the time we were leaving the market, she had been sucking her thumb quite a bit and laying her head down on Daddy. We knew she was tired. And then the random slapping--just slapping Bill's shoulders as we walked back. Bill was afraid the whole afternoon would go down hill from there. But we had just enough time to squeeze a little nap in for her. She fell asleep quickly and got an hour nap before our ride came to take us to the Embassy.
The trip to the Embassy in all took about an 2 hours, door to door. The interview was simply formality and they seemed genuinely happy for us and interested in our experience--they were both women! Rosi will pick up our Visa Friday at 2pm. Then it is officially over--everything we need to bring her home! I was cringing a bit at the Embassy as M. buddied up to the complete stranger/man. She really is endearing--she must be because people stop to talk to her and give her lots of attention. To scoop in would result in a tantrum, so I just let it be. We are competing with the language issue. They think she is cute and can speak her language--she can't understand us and it seems like we say "no" a lot. So, we let her have her moment, but this won't continue state side. But, she was interacting so cute with these different people, talking to them. I am thankful that when she tried to give another man a kiss, he just blew one to her! So the fact that she was happy, made our long wait at the Embassy easy.
We got back to the apt. a little after 4pm and Mahaela and I stayed in for the night. Bill and Aubrey went out for a little shopping and brought back dinner. She had a good night, with very little slapping, and lots of rough-housing. She certainly tolerates a lot of activity, maybe breathes a little faster by the end. She had lots of horsey rides and gave some, too. It was play time/rough housing in Bill fashion--the kind that wears you out just watching it. So by the end, she was tuckered out and ready for bed. We got her ready for bed and gave her a benadryl. We were all laying in the bed and she was standing at the door telling us no, that she didn't want to go to bed. The door frame was already holding her up, let alone as the Benadryl kicked it. We wanted to make sure she responded well to it, before we tried it on any of the flights. It worked and made such a difference. She had basically sounded more "croupy" throughout the day. She coughed a ton the night before and just sounded so juicy, like post nasal drip was getting to her.
So a little Benadryl seemed to dry her up and completely stopped the night coughing. She went to sleep great, without crying more than a whimper. It is now 4 am and she is sleeping quietly.
We have all her court decree information. It is very interested to read. One thing I find very interesting, that I didn't know would happen in an international adoption, is that her parents are named. Knowing what her birth name is, which was given by the birth parents, didn't make it a stretch to be able to track who her parents are--she had their family name. It gives their names and birthdates. I asked why it would be made public information. The new family law allows for adopted children to request information about their birth parents through the courts. I think it is always a good thing to have the option for the future, but realize it is often not beneficial to access it.
Oh, almost forgot...Mrs. Toncheva made arrangements between Rosi and I to call and speak with M. Maybe I already blogged this?? But while we were in the car on our way to the Embassy, she called to speak to M. It was not upsetting for M., which I suppose it could have been. She just listened to her and then told her a couple times that she is doing good. Mrs. T. said goodbye to us and wished us safe travels. Rosi said she would really like to see photos of Christmas, which I am happy to send their way. I assumed it would be hard for her nurses and I guess it really is. I'm not sure what staff turnover is like at these orphanages, but I am happy to keep up with whoever is still there over the years. It would be so neat for us to be reunited with them someday.
Looking forward to our last day in Bulgaria. Looking forward to seeing my kids and having them meet their little sister!
Day 3 with Mahaela, Wednesday
Mahaela admiring herself in the photocharm necklace I was wearing.She took one for herself and has been wearing it ever since.
Mahaela all bundled up to go out.Wednesday morning Mahaela didn't wake until after 8am. I was not in the room any longer, but I thought I heard something. When I opened the door she was sitting up in bed, just smiling and waiting for us. She doesn't try to get out of bed, even at bedtime when she is throwing a fit. I'm surprised she doesn't just get up out of bed, but I'm thankful she is compliant in this area.
We describe yesterday as defiance day! She was exerting her will over breakfast and then threw in a couple slaps at Daddy. Daddy just held her in his lap. We don't care if she doesn't eat, she just is not allowed to slap. So I opened a box of yummy kids cereal and just started eating away...I didn't offer her any since she wasn't acting hungry enough to eat the toast, banana, yogurt, or juice. Well, her attitude softened and then a big smile popped on her face. Then I offered her some cereal, which she picked out the white chocolate covered ones out of the coco puffs.
We met Petko who went with us to her Dr. appt. It was a long wait in a very small hallway. I don't know if we had an appt. to come get into line or if we just got in line. You have to ask the group of people who is last and then you know you are behind them. As each person walks out of the exam room, the next one walks in. NOT the picture of efficiency. Someone said he thought the wait would be about 1.5 hours. Mahaela was great. She enjoys watching the other kids. We waited about an hour fifteen. She had a quick ear exam which she sat in my lap very nicely for. Then with the pediatrician she was great. He barely examined her, but did listen to her heart/lungs. She immediately pulled up her shirt so he could listen. The orphanage had told us that she really likes stethoscopes and that they bought her a play one. The Dr. said she had cavities--he must have good eyes. But those will need to be taken care of because of the risk of infection to her heart/valves. He just wanted to us to understand that she has the heart defect and that we are aware of her condition. It was more paperwork than exam.
We got back to the apt. around 1pm. We just played around the apartment and Bill and Aubrey went out a little and brought back lunch.
She took a little nap, with lots of protesting, hitting, and then found her thumb and gave up the fight.
We left the apartment again about 4pm to head out to the mall and playground. We were at the mall about 30 minutes. If she doesn't want to come with you or be held, it is a fit. She stopped to watch a lady peel and orange and the lady said hello and then offered her a piece. Bill just scooped her up and scooted her away. Royal fit! She is a very loud, hitting, body writhing, mad as a hornet little girl! We just get through it. We realize she is stretched this week in unimaginable ways, but we also have to set our boundaries. We don't know the psychology of it all. We just parent the best we can.
We took a cab ride to a traditional Bulgarian restaurant, Manastirska Magernica. It was good, but we needed to make this a quick experience. We knew we were getting to the end of what she could handle. She sits so great in her chair (what? one of our kids stays in their chair?? unheard of!). She eats pretty good, unless it wasn't her idea. We say she has squirrel mouth. She stuffs food in there that I can't even see where she is putting it! Salad, meat, cheese, tomatoes, bread. There was some loud protest and Bill took her out. This time her hand was ready to hit, but she did not. She thought about it a little and decided not to hit Daddy. We thought this was progress. She had hit both Aubrey and me in the taxi and Bill turned around and startled her with a strong "Nay" and the clap of his hands. So he thought his method of "shock and awe" was effective.
We walked back home, played around a little while and then headed to bed. She barely cried. She was tired. She sits upright, watching TV, sucking her thumb. I decided enough of this TV thing, as it won't happen at home, so I turned it off. She quickly rolled off her pillow stack to go to sleep. Aubrey and I slept with her. She now has a cough and coughed a lot during the night. Around 6 am she fell out of bed--which is very low to the ground. She seemed fine and didn't really wake up, but was very restless and the floor was noisy with her hitting it and moving around on it. But I just left her there as she was still sleeping and to move her would definitely wake her.
Something I forgot to say in a previous post was that Rosi called to check on us Tuesday and said that Toncheva had called in the morning saying that she woke up thinking about Mahaela and wanted to know how she was doing. I just feel so sorry for these ladies who are feeling the loss of this little girl. Her room at the orphanage must be very quiet and lonely right now.
They said she is potty trained, but that we should just use pampers this week until the excitement is over. I did have her sit on the potty chair one time. I think this is a case of she will potty when you put her on it, but never ask to sit on the potty. We will deal with potty training much later...next year sometime! Ha!
Oh, her first words in English were spoken in the car, leaving the orphanage. They were nose, followed by "buckle-buckle," then "wow." Now we hear occasional words that she repeats.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Day 2 with Mahaela
Tuesday was a free day for us, with no appointments, which was nice. Mahaela slept until 9:30. She had a great breakfast--toast, yogurt, milk, banana. I put down a half a banana and then had to look under her chair to see where it went. Aubrey was sitting with her and didn't see what she did with it--she ate it! She devoured the second half just as quickly.
After breakfast she just played around a bit. I gave her a bath and Aubrey joined her. She played in the tub quite a bit and liked it. They had put on lotions and perfumes on her at the orphanage making her smell pretty, which she did, but it was nice to make her smell familiar like all my babies have smelled. I even washed all her clothing in Dreft which says "baby" to me. Her hair was in a little french braid right down the middle of her head--I took it out and will probably never be able to duplicate that again.
Around 1pm we headed out for lunch and stopped at a restaurant. We just fed her anything we had that she would eat. She ate a chicken finger, tomatoes, cucumbers, cheese, spaghetti, salad. As they sat the food in front of us, she grabbed the cheese off of my salad and then used her fork to dig in. She appears to be short and stout--she is like me in many ways. She is solid and heavy, but her pants are long on her.
We used the backpack carrier to walk around and after getting in it 2-3 times, she liked it. It is great because she enjoys walking, but is so slow and the sidewalks are a walking hazard. We stopped at a park. She doesn't really like to get on the play equipment, but does like to watch the other children. She would occasionally say things to people as we walked by and they would say hello in return. She is probably saying "save me, help me!" Haha.
She tripped over Bill's foot and did a face-plant with a loud thud. She absolutely smacked her nose and upper lip and forehead. No blood, just a little red nose. She cried hard, but got over it quick. It was good to be able to console her.
Mahaela took a good little nap in the afternoon. She definitely shows signs of being sleepy and still needing a nap--yawns, sucks thumb. She just snuggled right up to Bill and took a snooze.
We went out for a walk and then to dinner. She sits patiently and does well eating out--such a Hauter, for sure. Bill went up to the dessert case and she had a royal fit when he wanted her to come back to the table. Thankfully, we were the only ones in our area. We just let her have her little fuss. The waiter spoke English, so he probably knew she was giving us the "what for."
She went to sleep at night about 9:30 with a little crying, but very mild and very short. She slept until after 8am Wednesday.
Here are some random details that I have not written about...
She makes a really cute sour face. We have some soda, which she apparently hasn't had soda before, that is pretty sour berry flavored. She puckers up in the most animated way. At one point, she even smacked her bottom like it was so sour.
She walks a bit pigeon toed, sometimes it is much more pronounced like a little waddle.
She had her first McDonald's, allegedly, the first evening. She liked french fries. She had a little bit of a McFlurry also. (Aubrey was starving so we stopped to get her something.) She likes ice cream, but just takes one bite and she is happy with that. We think the cold is a bit much for her.
When we try to get her to pose for a picture she squats down, but so do we. Aubrey had to point that out to me, because I wasn't getting it.
She really likes to copy things, especially Bill. At dinner, he took off his jacket, so did she. He crossed his arms across his chest, so did she. He takes off his shoes and puts them by the door, so does she.
She says "Shht." Sometimes she is just being cute with it. Other times she is mad about something. She says it a lot to Aubrey.
She has a tendency to hit, especially Aubrey, but she has taken swings at all of us. We say "Nay" and try to stay clear of it. If she tries to hit Aubrey, we give Aubrey a kiss. We all kiss, and then she usually softens and wants a kiss too. We will keep doing that so she understands that we love each other, not hit each other, and unless she wants to give kisses, she will just be left out.
She has had slight color changes, but not major. Mostly she gets a little "dusky" looking in the face, but after a big cry. I went to change her clothes and noticed her legs were a little purple, with a little sluggish capillary refill. If you didn't know she had a problem, most wouldn't notice these slight color issues.
She is very independent--just so typical for a 3 year old. She wants "Dow"--down. She has her own ideas and is defiant at times.
At the moment she is walking around eating potato chips like there's no tomorrow, and loving it.
Here are some pictures in no particular order.
Ready to walk out of the orphanage--"I will not leave you as orphans!"
Walking through the water for good luck--but we know luck had nothing to do with this day!
Parading us through the orphanage to show us her room
Mahaela's crib and room for three years
At lunch on Tuesday, getting a little sleepy
Riding around on Daddy's back
After breakfast she just played around a bit. I gave her a bath and Aubrey joined her. She played in the tub quite a bit and liked it. They had put on lotions and perfumes on her at the orphanage making her smell pretty, which she did, but it was nice to make her smell familiar like all my babies have smelled. I even washed all her clothing in Dreft which says "baby" to me. Her hair was in a little french braid right down the middle of her head--I took it out and will probably never be able to duplicate that again.
Around 1pm we headed out for lunch and stopped at a restaurant. We just fed her anything we had that she would eat. She ate a chicken finger, tomatoes, cucumbers, cheese, spaghetti, salad. As they sat the food in front of us, she grabbed the cheese off of my salad and then used her fork to dig in. She appears to be short and stout--she is like me in many ways. She is solid and heavy, but her pants are long on her.
We used the backpack carrier to walk around and after getting in it 2-3 times, she liked it. It is great because she enjoys walking, but is so slow and the sidewalks are a walking hazard. We stopped at a park. She doesn't really like to get on the play equipment, but does like to watch the other children. She would occasionally say things to people as we walked by and they would say hello in return. She is probably saying "save me, help me!" Haha.
She tripped over Bill's foot and did a face-plant with a loud thud. She absolutely smacked her nose and upper lip and forehead. No blood, just a little red nose. She cried hard, but got over it quick. It was good to be able to console her.
Mahaela took a good little nap in the afternoon. She definitely shows signs of being sleepy and still needing a nap--yawns, sucks thumb. She just snuggled right up to Bill and took a snooze.
We went out for a walk and then to dinner. She sits patiently and does well eating out--such a Hauter, for sure. Bill went up to the dessert case and she had a royal fit when he wanted her to come back to the table. Thankfully, we were the only ones in our area. We just let her have her little fuss. The waiter spoke English, so he probably knew she was giving us the "what for."
She went to sleep at night about 9:30 with a little crying, but very mild and very short. She slept until after 8am Wednesday.
Here are some random details that I have not written about...
She makes a really cute sour face. We have some soda, which she apparently hasn't had soda before, that is pretty sour berry flavored. She puckers up in the most animated way. At one point, she even smacked her bottom like it was so sour.
She walks a bit pigeon toed, sometimes it is much more pronounced like a little waddle.
She had her first McDonald's, allegedly, the first evening. She liked french fries. She had a little bit of a McFlurry also. (Aubrey was starving so we stopped to get her something.) She likes ice cream, but just takes one bite and she is happy with that. We think the cold is a bit much for her.
When we try to get her to pose for a picture she squats down, but so do we. Aubrey had to point that out to me, because I wasn't getting it.
She really likes to copy things, especially Bill. At dinner, he took off his jacket, so did she. He crossed his arms across his chest, so did she. He takes off his shoes and puts them by the door, so does she.
She says "Shht." Sometimes she is just being cute with it. Other times she is mad about something. She says it a lot to Aubrey.
She has a tendency to hit, especially Aubrey, but she has taken swings at all of us. We say "Nay" and try to stay clear of it. If she tries to hit Aubrey, we give Aubrey a kiss. We all kiss, and then she usually softens and wants a kiss too. We will keep doing that so she understands that we love each other, not hit each other, and unless she wants to give kisses, she will just be left out.
She has had slight color changes, but not major. Mostly she gets a little "dusky" looking in the face, but after a big cry. I went to change her clothes and noticed her legs were a little purple, with a little sluggish capillary refill. If you didn't know she had a problem, most wouldn't notice these slight color issues.
She is very independent--just so typical for a 3 year old. She wants "Dow"--down. She has her own ideas and is defiant at times.
At the moment she is walking around eating potato chips like there's no tomorrow, and loving it.
Here are some pictures in no particular order.
Ready to walk out of the orphanage--"I will not leave you as orphans!"
Walking through the water for good luck--but we know luck had nothing to do with this day!
Parading us through the orphanage to show us her room
Mahaela's crib and room for three years
At lunch on Tuesday, getting a little sleepy
Riding around on Daddy's back
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