March 2010 update

Sorry such a long post...
It is now almost 4 months since my last post...sadly and surprisingly, nothing is happening too quickly. In early January we heard that our dossier had been translated and was at the MOJ (Ministry of Justice). In early February our agency contacted us, telling us that the MOJ wanted updated medical evaluations for Bill and me. It took a few weeks to complete those and send them back to Bulgaria (repeating the whole notary, trip to Springfield for apostilles, invalid notary scare, overnighting documents to our agency routine). They were sent in the end of February and we haven't heard anything since. We assume (maybe wrongly) that they have been received and all is well. BUT until our dossier and application is reviewed again, we are not officially registered! It has now been a year since we started the process--at least gathering information and looking at Bulgaria. I am really surprised by how long it has taken. I shouldn't be, but when I imagined March of 2010, I didn't picture we would still be at this point. God is not surprised. That I know for sure.

Just to give a little taste of the ride we are on, a little girl was brought to our attention a month ago. She was a waiting child. Bill and I looked at her and what information we were given on her and our hearts "went there." She was a little over our approved age of 48 months, but we would have to get approval for an older child. Just as quickly as our hopes soared, they were dashed. She was in process with another family and they were also aware of a sibling that was available to adopt also. She was not our child. This "feeling" has happened before...it's a great feeling. I realize it was just the initial gut feeling, but it brings us hope that we may feel such instant love and longing for a child. I can imagine that this love and longing will just grow through the entire process, from seeing a child, learning as much detail as we can about them, meeting them the first time, anticipating picking them up, and then finally doing so. Much like a pregnancy, just different milestones along the way.

With each hope, dream, disappointment, longing, the hole in our heart just grows deeper. It's a hole that we believe God will send our next child to fill. It seems like the deeper the hole, the easier taking root in it will be. This is the metaphor that makes me believe and understand how there could be as similar a bond with an adopted child as a biological one. That is an issue that all adoptive parents think about, some more than others. It is not an issue that I have been worried about. I actually have a lot of peace about it. Time will tell how this will play out, but I am so ready to love another little one and welcome them into our lives.
Oh, and we did begin the process to change our age range (thanks to this little girl that was a bit out of our approval age). We still wish for a child under the age of 4, but for the next year (until our USCIS approval expires) we will be approved for up to a 6 year old. It is worded in a way that expresses our desire while being precise in giving an age we are approved for. We are praying that we will hear of a child even before we get through this whole change in approval process.
So many people have been waiting for Bulgarian children for so long, we are trying to have patience. Just hoping that time flies!
God is in control.